My official renunciation

This column is dedicated to the people who hate this column (and you know who you are). For once, I am going to write just what you want me to say — crystallized in a series of nuggets that represent the outcome of 100 years of progressivism.

Call it the re-education of a conservative, or call it abject surrender. I want you to know I have been listening to my critics, and have absorbed the main points of their argument with me. I have therefore put together a brief creed which sums up the new orthodoxy. Perhaps you can repeat along with me (remember, there is safety in numbers):

1) The national debt is due to money wrongly spent on preserving Western civilization, not due to society collapsing under the weight of endless invented  entitlements.

2) Occupy Wall Street intends to strength America’s capitalist system, not destroy it and replace it with communism.

3) President Obama is a uniter, not a divider (despite what he says).

4) The mainstream media always tells the truth and has no agenda.

5) Attorney General Eric Holder works to uphold the rights of all Americans regardless of race, class or social standing.

6) There is no right or wrong, only differences of opinion. (Corollary: The only absolute truth is that there is no absolute truth.)

7) The federal government has limited powers except in the area of interstate commerce, which happens to include every aspect of human life including the refusal to participate in any aspect of human life.

8) We should spend most of the earth’s wealth in an effort to cool the planet down despite the fact that during the last Ice Age Northwest Montana was under an ice sheet a mile deep. Conclusion: Northwest Montana is not that important in the bigger scheme of things.

9) Free speech is allowed as long as you say what liberal secular humanists think is appropriate, and is disallowed if you say what your conscience tells you is the truth (since the truth doesn’t exist — see No. 6).  

10) War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. (Oh wait, that is from “1984” — wrong nightmare.)

I could go on and on, but why bother. Suffice it to say that we live in a rat hole of intimidation and threats where occasional exclamations of the truth are more likely to get you into trouble than daily recitations of the convenient lies that society prefers.

This week, I decided to humor the hundreds of readers who have written to me over the years to encourage me to “see the light.” It is so easy to repeat back the truth that someone else has prepared for you. It is even easier to say, “April Fool’s.”

Next week, back to business.