Is President Obama booking a room in the Canyon?

A hotel in Coram received a call from two “Secret Service” men who wanted to book a room for President Obama. The employee who took the call said the credit card went through but was skeptical what was going on. The Flathead County Sheriff’s Office is investigating.

Several runaway juveniles were intimidating people near a outdoor sports store in Evergreen. The situation no doubt was exacerbated by the young men’s weapons. They were carrying knives and throwing stars, like “teenage ninjas.” No word on whether they were mutant or turtles.

A caller in Kila called the Sheriff’s Office to say she suspected people were on her property. She had strange tapes of people walking on her property and covering their tracks with a rake. Strange lights were in the barn and she thought it might be her neighbor.

A Bigfork resident called to report the CIA was investigating him and sending teams from England to get him for what he knew. He was making this call from under a steel wool blanket and aluminum foil to avoid their “beams.” Officers told him to calm down, which is just what the CIA would say.

Two women were fighting on the west side of Kalispell, prompting a call to Kalispell Police. One of the women said the other had “done some meth” and was afraid she had done too much. Considering any amount of methamphetamine is too much, she was likely correct.

A man hired a transient to help him move a television into his room. The “transient” then took $300 from the man’s counter and bolted out the door.

A man called the Columbia Falls Police Department to report that he heard an alarm going off in Columbia Falls High School and figured that probably wasn’t supposed to happen.

A woman called police after her husband had passed away and asked if they could remove a box of ammunition and gunpowder from her house. The county landfill would not take it, so the sheriff’s office agreed to take over the property.

A woman called the Whitefish Police Department to report she had brought a car into a local mechanic for a head gasket repair in January. He had not returned the car yet, which is a tad longer than it usually takes.

A group of teenagers in a Toyota 4Runner were talking about “spotlighting” deer while buying gas on Wisconsin Avenue. The reporting party wanted to pre-emptively report the illegal hunting tactic.