Stay-at-home order can be challenging for abuse victims

While Gov. Steve Bullock’s shelter-in-place order has benefited Montana communities as they work to combat their local coronavirus outbreaks, it has also created several unintentional challenges for survivors of domestic abuse and for the community organizations and entities that typically offer resources and support for such individuals.

Survivors are spending more time at home with their abusers, there are fewer opportunities for members of the community to keep tabs on their neighbors and places such as the Abbie Shelter in Kalispell have slightly adjusted how they make contact with and support those in need.

According to Hilary Shaw, executive director of the Abbie Shelter, while certain aspects of abusive partnerships have abated during this time, other challenges surrounding domestic violence have ramped up. For example, she said one “flagship characteristic” of an abuser is extremely controlling behavior, which can include obsessing over where their partner is, wanting to know who they are with at all times and more.

“But that sort of jealous behavior and constant tracking of their partner’s activities has lessened since the survivors are at home,” Shaw explained. “So although some of this behavior has likely decreased, the feeling for the survivor isn’t any less oppressive. Victims are still trapped at home, walking on eggshells.”

The Abbie Shelter is the Flathead Valley’s go-to resource for those looking to escape domestic abuse. While the organization is not an emergency response resource like the Flathead County Sheriff’s Office or other law enforcement agencies, the shelter accepts those in need of a temporary place to stay, court and counseling services and more.

Shaw said although the Abbie Shelter hasn’t experienced an influx in those seeking shelter and the staff is actually experiencing a slight decline in the number of calls coming in, she anticipates this might change in the coming weeks.

“We think the need for our services may peak sometime next week. We think this because of patterns you see when natural disasters strike. During the crisis, there is a decrease in calls, but as soon as things are anticipated to return to normal, we see an uptick,” Shaw explained. “There is usually only so much time survivors can spend under the same roof as their abuser before something happens.”

Although the governor’s shelter-in-place order went into effect on March 26, Shaw said staff and volunteers are focused on other dates and numbers relevant to spikes in domestic abuse. The biggest one is unemployment rates — a side effect to COVID’s impact on the economy that prompted more than 26,000 Montanans to apply for initial unemployment during the week that ended on April 4. And that number doesn’t account for the additional 50,000 or so who filed for continued unemployment during the same time period, according to the Montana Department of Labor and Industry.

“The rise in unemployment was a red flag for us. We know from studies, a rise in unemployment is met with an escalation in domestic violence,” Shaw said.

IN ANTICIPATION for an eventual influx in survivor needs, the Abbie Shelter hired an additional full-time employee to help during the COVID outbreak. The Whitefish Community Foundation provided the funding for the temporary hire.

The shelter has also expanded its online presence on its website and on social media where people are ready to answer questions and offer assistance in a more covert manner because it can be difficult for survivors to make a call when their abuser is in the same room.

Shaw said because the virus has made people less accessible, much of the shelter’s efforts have been centered around offering preparatory planning for how survivors can best-handle arguments, should they occur.

“This is what would happen decades ago before shelters. It’s like we are kind of throwing it back to advocacy in the ’80s when people would coach victims on how to survive,” Shaw said.

Examples of coaching include steering arguments away from areas where weapons are in grabbing distance, trying to avoid conflicts in tight spaces such as bathrooms and studying an abuser’s patterns to know when they nap or take walks so they will have a timeline in mind should they need to escape. Shaw said they are also coaching people on how to prepare for that moment they need to escape by trying to discreetly gather any documents and supplies into to-go bags or by establishing a safety word with family members so when talking over the phone, they will know the abuse is escalating and that it’s time to leave home.

WHILE THE Abbie Shelter has seen slightly less activity than normal on the phone lines and at the shelter, other resources in Flathead County and surrounding areas have had slightly different experiences since COVID-19 hit Montana.

In Lake County, Safe Harbor Executive Director Deeann Richardson said their shelter saw an uptick in families seeking shelter a few weeks ago at the start of the shelter-in-place order, but the families were mostly from outside the area.

“What’s strange is we saw families come from places like Great Falls and Missoula County seeking shelter,” Richardson said. “We saw seven of these families come in a matter of about a week.”

Before the order went into place, Safe Harbor in Ronan was sheltering four families — one away from the home’s capacity. Richardson said the shelter coordinated with Lake County hotels who took in additional families — an expense that is being paid for by the Salvation Army.

While Safe Harbor did experience an uptick a few weeks ago, as of Wednesday, Richardson said the number of families in their care has decreased ever since, a steady drop-off similar to that of the Abbie Shelter’s.

But while the shelter is gearing up for its peak, Flathead County Sheriff Brian Heino said in the last month or so, deputies have noted an increase in disturbance calls. The sheriff’s office separates these calls into three categories: physical disturbances, verbal disturbances and disturbances with a weapon.

Although numbers recorded include all disputes, not just those between partners, Heino said since March the office has, in-part, attributed the increase in calls to a bump in domestic partner violence.

In February, data shows deputies responded to 64 disturbances in Flathead Valley total. But in March, that number jumped to 96 disturbances; 36 physical, 50 verbal and 10 with a weapon. Although it’s only mid-April, deputies have already responded to 43 incidents — a rate that could put them at about 90 before the month’s end.

ALTHOUGH THE Abbie Shelter is a common resource for domestic violence, in an emergency situation, survivors will first call 911, something that might explain the difference in calls between the Sheriff’s Office and the shelter.

Heino said it can also be a challenge to connect survivors to resources like the shelter when there is an increase in calls and stressed how he “could use another victim counselor and a few mental health co-responders.”

Heino added that it isn’t uncommon for survivors to return to their abusers the next day. Shaw reiterated this, saying the chances of homicide or injury in violent domestic partnerships increase by 75% when a survivor leaves the home.

“When you leave your abuser, that’s the ultimate loss of control. It’s like they’ve lost everything and they have nothing left to lose,” Shaw said. “And it’s not just the abuser doing the hurting or murdering, it can be the victim who kills the abuser in self-defense.”

Heino, Shaw and Richardson all said during this time, it’s important for neighbors to be keeping a close eye on one another. Shaw warned, however, that sometimes direct intervention like talking or note-passing can irritate abusers and said discretion is best.

“Be extra aware. Don’t be afraid to call law enforcement on behalf of a neighbor,” Shaw said. “If you’re wondering if you should call the answer is probably yes.”

The Abbie Shelter in Flathead County can be reached at 406-752-7273. Safe Harbor in Lake County can be reached at 406-676-0800.

Reporter Kianna Gardner can be reached at 758-4407 or kgardner@dailyinterlake.com