Law roundup: Man hangs up his hat in portable toilet

A man reportedly took up sleeping quarters in a portable toilet in Columbia Falls. When someone asked him to leave, he got out, picked up his bags, went back inside the porta-potty, and locked the door.

An agitated Kalispell resident claimed he had a bunch of “jackass neighbors” shooting gophers on his property and wanted deputies to respond immediately and “tell these clowns how to live.” He then called back using 911, saying they were leaning over the fence and shooting on the property adding that “these out-of-towners keep coming here and thinking they can do whatever they want.”

Someone reportedly found an intoxicated man they didn’t know passed out at the kitchen table. They were told to wait outside for law enforcement and to try not to wake him up.

Someone allegedly hit a mailbox in Kalispell where it flew to the other side of the road and spun out in a ditch.

Approximately 10 to 15 minors purportedly “broke into” an ungated hot tub located in the courtyard of a condo complex.

Two goats wearing multicolored collars were out and about on a Kalispell highway.

Three rapscallions in a truck were reportedly speeding around Bigfork and stopping to urinate and throw fireworks in people’s yards.

A male wearing goggles was reportedly riding a four-wheeler at a speed of 60 to 70 mph without showing any signs of slowing down for pedestrians or anything else in the way.

A Columbia Falls man believed someone blew up his mailbox with a bomb, not a firework, saying he was a fire investigator for more than 30 years. He also claimed there was residue on the ground and that was a federal offense.

Someone complained their neighbors were singing karaoke too loudly.

A suspicious man was reportedly going house-to-house like a real estate agent trying to sell stolen items in Kalispell.

Squatters allegedly holed up in a shed in a trailer park and refused to leave.

A transient was reportedly making himself at home in a shelter he built, according to a Kalispell groundskeeper.

A man returned home to find a BMX bike in his yard, which did not belong to him, and he did not want it on his property.

A man allegedly went to the sheriff’s office lobby to speak to the “top brass” working that day but would not say what about.

A Kalispell man thought the bang he heard the previous night was a pop from the fire they were having until his daughter pointed out a bullet in his window.