Quirky news just a mouse click away

Those of us charged with writing columns on a regular basis find ourselves wanting for ideas from time to time.

Just the other day I was bemoaning the fact that syndicated columnists such as Dave Berry get reader input from all over the country, giving them a never-ending supply of offbeat inspiration.

Then out of the blue a news release lands on my desk with this headline: "Man peed way out of avalanche."

Inspiration comes to us in unusual forms sometime. That's all I can say.

The news tidbit detailed how a man from Slovakia trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it. You may immediately wonder, as I did, why the guy had five dozen beers in his car. The simple explanation: he was going on vacation. As he cracked open a beer to contemplate his dilemma, it occurred to him he needed to melt the snow, and recycling his beer, so to speak, was his only way out.

I was curious about the source of this bizarre story and traced it to the Ananova Web site (www.ananova.com), a Britain-based news and entertainment source. They have a news category called "Quirkies." And within the quirky file, there are subtopics such as quirky gaffes, strange crime, sporting quirkies, bad taste and animal tales, to name a few.

Intrigued, I delved deeper.

"Granny mistakes Superglue for eyedrops" was the first story I came to.

A confused Australian grandmother reached for her eye medication in the fridge and got the glue instead. I know I always keep my Superglue in the fridge. Nurses used vegetable oil to soften the glue, and after 10 minutes or so, granny was good as new. Luckily, the glue couldn't fuse to her eyeball because of the fluid around the eye.

This Web site had me completely hooked by now.

Next I read about a Chinese hen that laid a spoon-shaped egg.

Then it was on to a piece about mobile phones for dogs. The bone-shaped phones fit on dog collars and go on sale later this year. The more expensive versions include a doggie-cam, a camera to reveal to absent pet owners what their pets are doing when they're not around. Get this - pet owners can dial a number and shout commands such as "Bad dog."

And anyone who's ever told a lawyer joke will appreciate this one. Two pensioners were arrested outside a New York court for telling jokes about lawyers, the Ananova site revealed. It's about time someone put a stop to this heinous crime.

Seems two guys were waiting outside a courthouse when one of the men asked, "How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" "His lips are moving," they said in unison. A lawyer standing in front of them with no sense of humor had them arrested, handcuffed and charged with disorderly conduct. We can all rest easier now that these two old codgers are off the streets.

Actually, there's more to the lawyer story. The two men are founders of a group called Americans for Legal Reform that uses confrontation to push for better public access to courts. Part of their strategy is driving around in a truck with a sign that says "Stop the Lawyer Disease."

And finally, in Texas a family said they found the image of Jesus in their frying pan. They're keeping the pan in a sealed plastic bag until they figure out how to capitalize on this divine intervention.

A couple of months ago a British woman who found an image of the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese sold it on eBay for 14,000 pounds (roughly $26,320 in U.S. money) to a casino company. She encouraged the Texans to follow her lead and sell the blessed pan on eBay.

I looked to the Internet for inspiration, but now it's clear to me I better start checking my frying pan.

Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by e-mail at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com