On a team full of self-described idiots, David Wells has officially become the clown prince of the Boston Red Sox.
A fresh take that's all rancid
On Friday, the portly left-hander in his first season with the Sox, compared the cameramen in Texas who were videotaping Kenny Rogers to a date rapist who doesn't stop when told "no."
"Some guy's being aggressive with a woman, and she says no, and he keeps on doing it. Well, you know what's going to happen. No is no in anything, when it comes to sexual or you know, whatever it is. No is no," Wells said during an appearance on Rhode Island radio station WSKO, according to an Associated Press story.
"And I'm sure Kenny said, 'Hey, get it out of my face, don't do it.' But no, they want the big story, they want the scoop, you know?"
Wells, who boasted in his autobiography that he pitched his perfect game in 1998 "half drunk," was perhaps in the same condition when he gave this interview.
Well, I'm half sober and I can tell you there is absolutely no justification for what Rogers did and even less reason for Wells to compare the media to rapists.
Rogers had missed a start because of a broken bone in his non-pitching hand, and photographers were there to tape his pregame workout to see how he was progressing.
(As an aside, with so many hot-headed athletes hurting themselves punching things they shouldn't, why don't teams have heavy bags hanging around?)
It's not as though the cameramen were invading Rogers' privacy in the aftermath of a family tragedy in an off-limits area. It was on the field of a stadium built with taxpayer dollars.
The interaction between professional athletes and members of the media is likely of little interest to the average fan (if, however you are interested, you can read a great behind-the-scenes column by The Oregonian's Jason Quick at www.oregonlive.com), but what Rogers did clearly crossed the line and what Wells said about the incident was clearly out of line.
This week's top 10 (down to three because this was a sloooooooow week for sports):
-3. A visit to the irony department. The lunatics on "Sports Kids Moms & Dads" were in good form last week.
Mom Sharon and her cheerleader daughter Sarah went shopping for a new outfit for her routines and Sharon seemed a tad upset at some of the ideas Sarah had.
"She wants to look older, but I don't want her to look older," mom said.
Sarah is already dressing in outfits and performing dance moves that make Brooke Shields in "Pretty Baby" look like a sequestered nun in a convent, but, whatever.
-2. IOC says CUL8R to baseball, softball. Why baseball was an Olympic sport to begin with was beyond me, but dropping softball was truly a stunner.
The Olympics were the biggest thing softball players could aspire to, which makes it a perfect sport for the games. Baseball, which never featured its best players because of the scheduling conflicts, has the World Series.
Any sport that has something bigger and better than an Olympic gold medal, like tennis, hockey, soccer, even basketball, probably shouldn't be an Olympic sport to begin with.
-1. In death as in life. In accordance with his wishes upon his death, Pittsburgh Steelers fan James Henry Smith did not have your typical viewing at the funeral home - suit and tie in an open casket.
Instead he was situated in a recliner, remote in hand, wearing black and gold pajamas in front of a TV playing Steelers highlights, according to an AP story.
That's terrific. When I go, I want something like that, but I'm having a hard time deciding what my own posthumous diorama, depicting my life's love, should be.
Surfing for Internet porn? Nah, no one actually sees that. Drinking excessive amounts of booze? No, that'll be what kills me. Sitting around making jokes and taking cheap shots at bad parents? Now we're getting somewhere.
Andrew Hinkelman is a sports writer for The Daily Inter Lake. He can be reached at hink@dailyinterlake.com