The madness of March
This week's top 10:
10. A lot more hot air to make sure all the ice is melted. The NHL and the players' association resumed talks last week. True to form, the meeting ended with "no progress made towards a new collective bargaining agreement," NHL chief legal officer Bill Daly said in a statement.
Things could be worse, I guess. At least they didn't end up canceling NEXT season.
9. Krysko's magic. You can't help but feel good for Larry Krystkowiak and the Griz basketball team. A year ago at this time Montana basketball was at the center of an accounting scandal within the athletic department. Pat Kennedy resigned to take over at Towson (How'd that work out for you, Pat?) and Krystkowiak came in as the anointed savior.
He delivered and the Griz are headed to the dance.
8. Who gets the No. 1s? With North Carolina and Wake Forest losing early in the ACC tourney, the candidates for the NCAA tournament No. 1 seeds became awfully jumbled.
Illinois is a lock no matter what happens in the Big Ten championship today. Duke is definitely in with a win in the ACC, and might be even with a loss. Arizona could have had one but choked it away to Washington.
The remaining two No. 1 seeds will probably go to Kentucky and Oklahoma State if they win the SEC and Big 12.
7. Trading down. So do you think Philadelphia 76ers GM Billy King would like to take a mulligan on that Chris Webber trade? Webber has looked like a fish out of water in Philly (except for the most recent game) and has already started to complain about playing time.
If he and Alan Iverson can't coexist (not that there has been any indication of friction between the two, but Iverson's role as The Man has to be part of Webber's problem), the 76ers are in trouble as Webber's contract will make him very tough to deal in coming years.
6. As a nation and a people, we truly have too much time on our hands. A piece on The Associated Press wire this weekend tells the story of the growing popularity of scented bowling balls.
I can't tell you how many times I've been doing a Dennis Hopper imitation from "Blue Velvet" over racks of bowling balls and thought to myself "You know, things would be a lot better if some of these balls smelled like banana, cinnamon, plum or amaretto."
5. Two for the road. Montana's women's basketball team gave the Griz double-barreled action in the NCAA's, the second straight appearance for the Lady Griz and 16th overall.
4. A battle for the ages … because that's how long it will be before they play again. Lost in the wake of the Tiger Woods/Phil Mickelson showdown last week at Doral is the little factoid that it's entirely possible the two of them won't be on the same course again until The Masters in April.
The idea of shortening the PGA season significantly has been floated in the last couple of weeks, and it's starting to make a lot of sense. With tournament purses so large, there isn't much incentive for the top golfers to hit the road week in, week out anymore.
Fewer tournaments would mean more final-round Tiger-Phil showdowns like last week instead of the Billy Andrade versus Fulton Allem snooze fests you get most weeks.
3. Wild 'Cats. Congratulations to Columbia Falls on winning its second boys basketball title in three years. The Wildcats spent all season winning the close games and true to form did so again against Butte Central.
2. Congressional zoo. The pending hearings by the House Government Reform Committee into steroid use by baseball players is the new clubhouse leader for dumbest development of 2005.
And it's not even for the raving rants of people who are worried the House is wasting time investigating the affairs of games rather than dealing with health care, unemployment, Social Security, various and sundry wars, trade deficits and so forth. I'm reasonably confident that 216 years of legislative impotence has established the precedent that Congress is incapable of handling those problems even if it devoted every waking hour to them.
It's because it's totally pointless. If the powers that be sit there and rat out steroid abusers like modern-day Elia Kazans, what will Congress do with that information? Pass a non-binding resolution asking baseball to get tougher on steroids?
This whole thing smacks of some overzealous committee chairman looking to get some free airtime to boost his Q rating in hopes of attaining higher office.
1. No mas. In my never-ending quest to keep you all updated on the life and times of Tonya Harding, it is my sad duty to inform you that my girl refused to enter the ring for her scheduled exhibition with a transvestite Thursday, citing the potential loss of her boxing license if she did.
"I just found out about this last night," Harding told Sun-Sentinel.com. "I was told that I am very welcome to fight, as long as I am on a legitimate card. I felt bad about not being able to do this for my fans. Everyone wanted to see me kick someone's butt."
Even though promoters of the event - which also featured a Paris Hilton look alike contest - tried to get around boxing commission rules by calling it a professional wrestling exhibition, Florida state troopers reportedly showed up threatening to arrest anyone who participated.
As a result, Harding backed out just before the whole thing was to go down - the wrestling, not our collective IQ - depriving us of what surely would have been the greatest sporting spectacle of this young millennium.
Andrew Hinkelman is a sports writer for The Daily Inter Lake. He can be reached at hink@dailyinterlake.com