Program caters to young moms considering adoption options

Their visit was a coincidence, but their message couldn't have been more timely with revelations of the baby found buried in Columbia Falls.

Staff members from the Florence Crittenton Home in Helena visited Kalispell recently to promote their new Legacy of Love program for young pregnant women considering adoption for their babies. "Our dream has been to open separate living quarters for girls considering adoption," said Elizabeth Painter, a marketing coordinator with the home.

With help from a patron, the Crittenton Home has realized that dream, with four rooms now available in a separate wing where the girls are supported and honored for giving their babies the stable homes they can't provide.

"At any stage, they can change their minds," Painter said. "We're there to support them and provide a safe and secure option."

Previously, girls pursuing adoption plans were placed in some of the 16 beds now reserved for pregnant and parenting teens. By living with excited new mothers with their newborns, the young women considering adoption were unduly influenced against that option.

Pam Ponich, director of operations and clinical director, said the Crittenton Home recognized the problem but didn't have the financial ability to solve it.

"Then a year ago, an angel came out of the sky," she said. "He's an elderly man who had been adopted. He said, 'I'd love to help you.'"

Ponich said he provided seed money with the hope of starting an endowment fund.

Judy Merickel, development officer, said the man spoke about how grateful he was for his birth mother's "loving decision." He believed his life was infinitely better for it.

"We want these babies to have that starting chance," she said. "Whether parenting or adopting, we want to stop the cycle of poverty and abuse."

With the wing now available, the home staff hopes to show young women that they have options before they become desperate, triggering a tragedy such as the one disclosed in Columbia Falls.

Now that we have Legacy of Love, we want to fill it up," Ponich said.

Women who are 24 years of age and younger may participate in the program. When admitted, they live in a communal setting, sharing a living area, kitchen and bathroom.

"We have a sliding-fee scale," she said. "We would never turn a girl away because she couldn't pay."

Although the home began 105 years ago in Montana as a refuge for unwed mothers, the facility has changed as needs of young women have changed.

Crittenton now provides programs for emotionally disturbed, at-risk adolescent girls, and pregnant and parenting teens as well as the new Legacy of Love refuge for women pursuing the adoption option.

Their program features strict rules and safety with staffing 24 hours a day. The girls receive prenatal care, adoption counseling, educational and vocational support, and transitional living assistance.

Staff members expect their clients to function independently with motivation to make positive changes in their lives. While at the home, they learn living skills such as money management, food and nutrition, health care, cooking and meal planning.

Residents work through phases of the program to gain independence with a goal of moving out on their own to the community of their choice.

The women move in anywhere from a few months pregnant to late in their pregnancies, Ponich said.

"On average, they stay nine months to a year," Ponich said.

Staff members have many poignant and touching stories about their successes, such as this one from the Web site:

"As Stacy's family was traveling across the state of Montana, she went into premature labor in Missoula. Only 15 years of age, she was wheeled into the delivery room, not knowing that her family had abandoned her.

"When she came to the home with her premature daughter she kept telling the staff, 'I need to call the hospital in Missoula so when my family calls looking for me they will know where I am.' Stacy kept calling but her family never tried to find her.

"Abandonment was painful and the responsibility of learning to be a parent, huge. Stacy realized she wasn't ready to care for her child and placed her daughter in an open adoption. Stacy shared these words at a Florence Crittenton Home fundraiser: 'Each day I have to live with my choice, and each day I'm learning that it's the best choice I could have made. That's what Florence Crittenton has taught me. I'm just not ready to be a mom right now. I just don't have all it takes, and that is just something my mom failed to teach me. Maybe someday I'll be ready, but not today.' She went on to say 'The Home has taught me how to love, how to trust, and how to live.'"

Painter said the lives of 12,000 women have been touched by the Crittenton Home.

"So many can't take care of a child," she said. "In that case, adoption should be celebrated."

Call the Florence Crittenton Home at 1-888-777-9888 or visit the Web site at www.florencecrittenton.org.

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com.