We live in strange times

The Daily Inter Lake

Everyday, it's something.

One day, you get up and there's a blizzard outside. Maybe the pipes have burst. Your car won't start. Or worse yet, your car starts and you get in an accident at the first intersection.

Some days, it's like that. Nothing goes right.

Another day, you wake up and turn on the "Today" show. No blizzard. No burst pipes. No accidents. Just the "Today" show. So why do you feel even worse after watching one hour of Matt and Meredith than you did on that day earlier in the week when hell froze over?

I suppose it's not Matt and Meredith's fault. They are likable enough people, and as far as infotainment shows go, "Today" is not half bad.

But unfortunately, any TV show, newspaper, or column that is talking about the real world these days is likely to have the same effect on you as the flu - it makes you want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over your head and shiver.

That's because we live in strange times.

Wednesday was a case in point.

The top news of the day was that the New York Times had leaked a memo written to the president of the United States by his national security adviser, Stephen Hadley. In the formerly top-secret memo, Hadley had criticized Iraq's prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki, as a leader who was either ignorant or incapable.

This kind of leak would be bad enough any day, but it came the day before President Bush was to meet with Maliki in Jordan. The story aired on the "Today" show above a headline that read "Leaked Memo - White House: Doubts about Maliki."

Matt Lauer brought in NBC's political expert Tim Russert to explain the importance of the leaked memo and noted that the president was said to be "displeased" that the memo had been leaked.

I was hoping Russert would jump on that one, and confirm that we should all be "displeased" when a top-secret memo written to the president of the United States is leaked, especially when the leakage is timed to do maximum damage to the president's foreign policy. I was hoping to hear Russert say, "Well, Matt, this is just one more instance of the New York Times putting itself in charge of national security and doing what it wants without regard for the law or the effect on this country."

But of course I didn't expect to hear anything like that. Indeed, to listen to the story on NBC, you would never even know that leaking top-secret government memos is a federal offense, and that when it is done to damage national policy in a time of war, it could easily be considered treasonous.

Russert did note that, "I don't think it's by coincidence. There are people in the administration who want to send a message to Maliki," but he didn't call for an investigation into who had leaked the memo. He did not say anything about the media having a responsibility to keep quiet about secrets it learns which might harm our national security. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know such a responsibility exists, and maybe it doesn't anymore.

In fact, the longer I watched the "Today" show that morning, the more I became convinced that our country has lost its mind. Here are some of the additional highlights of the news report from that morning, which in one way or another make me think common sense is no longer an American virtue:

. The Supreme Court heard arguments brought by a coalition that the Environmental Protection Agency ought to be forced to regulate so-called greenhouse gases as pollutants in order to prevent global warming. Should the court agree with the coalition, it would basically have aggregated to itself the power not just of the judiciary, but also the legislature and the executive branch. Essentially, we will not need to have elections anymore. We will just let men and women in black robes tell us what is good for us. Call it the nanny court. Certainly this will be the first case of court-decreed "global cooling" in the history of the planet, and once they demonstrate their omnipotence by saving the planet, I'm sure the rest of us will be happy to cede our few remaining human rights over to the control of the court for our own good.

. But the legislative branch still has a few tricks up its sleeve. Case in point: In Louisiana it is now illegal to smoke in the car if you are driving with your children. The "Today" show report was fair enough, and provided an accurate account of the law's intentions and impacts, but the content of the report was more proof that the nanny state is taking over control of our lives. Parental responsibility be damned. Children must be saved from their parents first and foremost, and who better to do it than Uncle Lawmaker.

. One last story from the nanny files: Blind people are complaining that the government is discriminating against them because money in different denominations all looks and feels the same… For a brief second, I thought I was watching a Monty Python skit, but no - this is real life. People really do expect the government to do everything for them to make them feel better about their miserable lives, no matter what the cost or what the actual benefit.

. I suppose this next report is also about the "nanny government" - and in particular one unintended consequence of legislation that was passed to make life easier for another group of handicapped citizens - in this case, deaf people. "Every month on your phone bill, you pay a fee to help the deaf communicate by phone," said Lisa Myers as she introduced this story.

In fact, the government collects $92.5 million a year to pay for Internet relay services, which allow the hearing impaired or disabled to send phone messages by typing their messages. Unfortunately, "operators are required to read any message sent no matter how vile or obscene."

As this report showed, the problem is absolutely grotesque, forcing operators to pass on vulgarities, X-rated phone sex or hate speech, and to read scripts prepared by con men trying to defraud businesses or individuals.

If you or I were in charge of that program, it would be stopped in a day. But the government can't figure out how to prevent phone operators from being turned into pimps and accomplices. These poor operators have no choice but to repeat the vile filth sent to them or to quit their jobs. To warn the FBI or police is against the law, and "to ensure the privacy of deaf people, the FCC prohibits the phone company from keeping any records."

Absolutely idiotic.

But by no means the worst story of the day. That high honor goes to the much-teased segment on whether the movie "Borat" is responsible for the breakup of Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock's marriage. I can't imagine who actually cares about this story, but as part of the ongoing "People" magazinification of the news business, Matt and Meredith and the gang at NBC are supposed to be absolutely fascinated. Who knows? Maybe they are.

Long story short, but not quite as short as the marriage, Anderson and Rock filed for divorce on Monday after 121 days of wedded bliss (possibly drug-induced). The problems in paradise apparently began when Anderson and Rock attended a screening of "Borat," the satiric, role-playing, reality-based docu-comedy about the faux Kazakhstani journalist portrayed by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.

The success of "Borat," and what it tells us about ourselves, will have to wait for another column, but suffice it to say that humor based on hurting other people and belittling them is not a high art form (despite what Michael Richards may have thought). As for whether "Borat" was responsible for the breakup of Anderson and Rock's marriage, I am not sure. Apparently, one of the central gags in the film is that Borat is obsessed with Anderson (famous for "Baywatch" and a sex tape with her first husband, Tommy Lee). But this should not have surprised Kid Rock, as presumably half the male population (all of it under 30?) is obsessed with Anderson.

It is somewhat odd that Ms. Anderson dragged Mr. Rock to the film in the first place without telling him that her lascivious slutty nature would be a recurring gag in the movie. But it is even more odd that Mr. Rock did not already realize that his wife's lascivious slutty nature was a recurring gag in his own life. And it is most odd of all that a morning TV show designed for the whole family would even cover the story, but that is where we are as a country.

And for that we cannot blame the "Today" show or its stars, Matt and Meredith and Al and Ann. It is not Borat's fault, and it is not even Pam and Kid Rock's fault. As Shakespeare said, lo, those 400 years ago, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our celebrities, but in ourselves." Or something like that.