'It's an issue that's stealing our kids'

More than 300 people attend sobering town-hall meeting about teen drinking

Kalispell police Chief Frank Garner challenged more than 300 people to become agents of change Tuesday at a town hall meeting about underage drinking at the WestCoast Hotel in Kalispell .

He said alcohol has been the leading factor in auto accidents, assaults, homicides and suicides in youths ages 15 to 24.

"This is not a rite of passage," Garner said. "It's an issue that's stealing our kids."

Garner and the other experts at the meeting said parents form the frontlines in the battle against a pervasive popular culture of alcohol, drugs, violence and promiscuity.

First, Jim Lynch, director of the Department of Transportation, read a letter from Gov. Brian Schweitzer that said 53,000 young Montanans drink each year. In 2001, they consumed 24 percent of all alcohol sold.

Lynch cited graduated drivers' licenses and open-container laws as legislative victories aimed at reducing the number of alcohol-related deaths of young people.

He said that mothers, fathers and guardians, by their own examples, set the bars for good behavior for their teens.

"We need to set that bar high," he said.

Mike Cummins, director of Flathead Valley Chemical Dependency Clinic, said he was heartened to see nearly every seat filled Tuesday. He said he has spent nearly 26 years dealing with how drug and alcohol abuse affects youths.

"Sometimes that's a pretty lonely feeling," Cummins said.

Teen panelists Aliana Nicol, 16, and Hannah McKee, 15, underscored the dangers of underage drinking with their poignant testimony. Both began drinking at 13, the most common age for girls to take their first drink.

The hotel meeting room fell silent as Nicol related, in quiet, steady voice, a July night of horror in New Hampshire when she was 15. It started when her friend "Ted" and his friend "John," both in their 20s, picked her up for a party.

After the three hit the road, John informed her they would "need some compensation" for taking her to the party. When they arrived at the Motel 6, she found out he wasn't talking about gas money.

"[John] pulled me around back of the motel and pushed himself on top of me," she said.

After satisfying himself, John ordered her to clean herself up and get inside. After three or four drinks, Nicol said Ted and another friend raped her.

"I was so out of it, I couldn't defend myself," she said.

When Ted drove her home, he asked her to have sex with him again. She said no five or six times, but he pushed her down and raped her on the neighbor's front lawn at about 4 a.m.

She said her parents had no idea what went on that night. But her mental anguish sent her in a tailspin that took her into pornography on the Internet.

Her descent ended when her parents sent her away to the Big Sky Youth Home in Columbia Falls. The Christian-based boarding school emphasizes values, self-respect, honesty, tough love and trust.

Nicol said she gives credit for her transformation to the Lord.

"Without him, I'd probably be a prostitute on the street," she said.

McKee, a resident of the youth home from Texas, began her presentation by showing the audience a picture of her older sister Jackie. She described her sister as a beautiful blonde, perfect child who fell into serious drug abuse in her teens.

At 23, Jackie had moved back home, got a job and was finally on the road to recovery. Then one night, she hit a detour when a friend tempted her again with heroin.

After Jackie died that night of an overdose in a hotel room, McKee suppressed her grief in a fog of alcohol and drugs introduced to her by her own brother.

McKee urged the audience to communicate with their children in simple ways, such as saying "Good morning" and "Good night." She encouraged them also to say "I love you" while giving frequent hugs and kisses. But most important, McKee said to teach them faith.

"I would be dead right now without God," she said. "He makes every day worth living."

Keith Koslosky provided a parent's perspective, relating the story of his daughter's addiction to alcohol.

"Did you take Parenting 101?" he asked the crowd. "Neither did I."

But, Koslosky said, his daughter exhibited none of the signs mentioned earlier by Nicol. He said she was bright, a superior student and an athlete.

"I'm here because teenage drinking slapped me in the face," he said. First, Koslosky got a call to pick up his drunken daughter from high school. Next, he was told to go to the emergency room.

"Until you see your child incoherent, with an IV in her arm with alcohol poisoning, you haven't lived," he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

Koslosky echoed earlier comments for parents to make sure they model positive ways of handling stress rather than consuming alcohol after a tough day. He recommended several books, including "The Primal Teen," "Myth of Maturity," "Binge" and "Dying to Drink."

Katherine Thompson, director of Flathead CARE, advised Koslosky and other parents to form close relationships with their children by talking to their teens.

"Parents have more influence on their children then they realize," she said.

Parents should look for teachable moments to illustrate acceptable and unacceptable behavior from preschool age forward, Thompson said. She said parents should:

-Set and enforce firm rules - no alcohol use allowed

-Teach their children to choose friends carefully

-Help their children recognize what a high-risk situation looks like

-Know where their children are

-Limit the time their children spend without an adult present

"It's not pestering, it's parenting," Thompson said.

Law-enforcement efforts to combat the problem were outlined in a PowerPoint presentation by deputy Travis Bruyer, a member of the alcohol enforcement team at the Flathead County Sheriff's Office.

He described programs that educate servers and retailers of alcohol, compliance checks, party patrols and sting operations, and curbing third-party adult buyers.

Bruyer recommended that parents check out the Web site myspace.com for insight into teen drinking. He also talked about the need to change social norms as reflected by T-shirt slogans such as "Bad girls chug and good girls drink quickly."

"I've seen these in our community," Bruyer said.

He quoted statistics that showed the increasing number of arrests for minors in possession, from 900 in 2004 to 985 in 2006. Along with alcohol, Bruyer said, the youths have meth, Ecstasy and an increasing number of guns.

School resource officer Brent Corbett described his role in Flathead High School, including teaching classes, responding to assaults, drinking, drugs and other offenses, and counseling teens and their parents.

After a round of questions from the audience, Garner wrapped up the two-hour meeting with a Winston Churchill quote: "We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival."

"Please be agents for change," Garner said.

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com.