High tech bullying

Like almost everything else, tormenting has gone online. But students, parents and teachers are learning how to fight back.

Not too many years ago, schoolyard bullies terrorized their victims the old-fashioned way: face to face (or fist to face) when the teachers weren't looking.

The days of being cornered by a bully in the hall aren't over, but now tormentors can taunt their victims from a safe distance, anonymously. Like banking, shopping and dating, bullying has gone online.

Cyberbullies post derogatory comments on MySpace pages, use camera phones to share unflattering pictures with friends and text vicious messages to their targets. E-mail, instant messaging, chat rooms and cell phones are tools in a bully's hands, and in today's highly connected world, those tools can facilitate nonstop abuse.

That constant availability is what makes cyberbullying "so difficult to get ahold of," said Kerry Drown, assistant principal at Whitefish Central School.

"It's quick. There's a feeling of anonymity a lot of times, so they're more apt to do it," he said. "And they can do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week."

And cyberbullying is on the rise. It's gaining "often because e-mail and phones are readily available, and it's much easier," said Casey Bertram, assistant principal at Edgerton Elementary School.

"You don't have face-to-face contact. It's easier to act tough and hurt someone's feelings when you're sitting in your bedroom."

Bullies, cyber or otherwise, aren't limited to a particular age group. However, the so-called "always-on generation" is particularly susceptible to cyberbullying, simply because of young people's propensity for electronic communication.

Youths in the Flathead Valley are not immune. Comments posted on social-networking sites, rude text messages and harassing e-mails have affected valley schools, especially at the middle- and high-school levels.

"It most certainly is an issue," Drown said.

Cyberbullying has a variety of forms. Sometimes it means taking the age-old tactics of rumor mongering and exclusion online.

"I've seen things on MySpace where one student is talking derogatorily about another student, then that person passes it on, and everybody jumps on the bandwagon and is talking about that student," Drown said.

At some schools, cell phones have been bullies' preferred medium. Students are using text messaging to send "abrasive messages," said Doug Overman, school resource officer at Kalispell Junior High School.

"It is causing abrasion in the school, with kids knowing these things are going on," he said.

Many schools have policies banning cell-phone use during the school day. Whitefish Central School doesn't allow cell phones on school property.

"We're one of the few remaining," Drown said, "and we're holding on to it as long as we can."

At Bigfork High School, phones are allowed on campus but will be confiscated if students use them at school. Multiple offenses can result in suspension; more extreme cases can end in criminal charges.

But students find ways to get around the rule, Principal Thom Peck said.

"There's probably a lot more of it that actually happens. There are probably kids who go into the bathroom and bam, bam, bam, bam, bam," he said, acknowledging that students might send text messages in places not under constant supervision.

That lack of supervision can make electronic harassment appealing to would-be bullies.

"Normally, if you see it in the hall, it's kind of contained a little bit more, and you have more control over it," said Jodie Barber, a counselor at Kalispell Junior High. "If harassment happened directly to that person face to face, tracking it down was easier. In cyberspace, we no longer have control of that."

"It's not as contained," she added, "which makes it seem like it grows more."

Instead of witnessing harassment, school administrators hear about cyberbullying secondhand or thirdhand. Most of it takes place on personal computers or cell phones off school grounds, areas over which school officials have little to no authority.

"The trouble is that's not happening at school, so you often get into a gray area," Drown said.

However, he added, if off-campus bullying has a negative impact on students, it's the school's responsibility to take action.

"It's something that we certainly don't ignore and shy away from," he said.

Most schools don't have a specific "cyberbullying" section in their student handbooks, but that doesn't mean administrators aren't addressing the problem. Bigfork High School has added electronic equipment to its bullying policy, Peck said.

"We've kind of had to adjust that a little bit to include e-mails, text messages, cell phones," he said. "We kind of create basically restraining orders with kids in the school setting."

In situations in which administrators can't intervene, cyberbullies still are not safe from punishment. They may be violating the privacy in communications provision of the Montana Communications Act, which prohibits using electronic devices to terrify, intimidate, threaten, harass, offend or annoy another person.

If Overman or another law-enforcement official traces the unwanted message, they can subpoena phone and Internet records. If convicted, a bully faces a $500 fine and/or six months in jail.

"I haven't charged anyone this year, but I have had several talks with young people," Overman said. "So far, the talks have worked."

He also has addressed a number of classes, including the sixth-graders at Edgerton, about cyberbullying's legal ramifications.

"It's not to scare them but to show them that they are accountable for what they text and what they do and what they say in the cyberworld," Bertram said.

Students may not realize their actions have real-world consequences, he said. Students also may not understand how their words affect the bullied.

Inside the mind of a 10- or 12-year-old, "you think what you're doing is fun and don't realize how damaging it can be," said Joan Schmidt, director of Youth Service Network.

"Kids have just been mean, and you know that mentality when you're in fifth-, sixth-, seventh-grade. That exclusion and condescending attitude toward others can be hurtful."

But students should know they don't have to live with bullying.

The attitude, "I'm supposed to be tough and take care of myself, and I'm not supposed to ask for help - that's still a challenge, I think," Schmidt said.

Instead, she said, youths need to learn that it's OK to tell an adult.

"If this is happening, even out of school, you need to let us know," Barber said. "If there is a conflict or something going on, we can at least maybe try to settle it."

Many students, however, adhere to the unspoken code of not ratting out another child.

"These kids are so fearful of narking," Drown said. "When do I tell? When do I report?"

Students shouldn't feel as if they have to take care of cyberbullying on their own, he said. He tries to show them the difference between narking [trying to get someone in trouble "over some frivolous thing"] and reporting [telling an adult about an intense, on-going issues that students can't handle alone].

Parents should also be part of the solution, Schmidt said.

"I just think it's important for parents to pay attention and really monitor their kids," she said.

Barber agreed.

"Know what your kids are doing," she said. "Pay attention when they're online. If you have concerns, you need to call and let us know."

If bullying continues, it may be a good idea for youths simply to get away from cyberspace for a while, Schmidt said.

"I always recommend that they should unplug," she said. "I know it's part of the world we live in, but being outside and playing is much better than playing on the computer."

On the 'Net: www.cyberbully.org

www.stopcyberbullying.org

www.ncpc.org

Reporter Kristi Albertson may be reached at 758-4438 or by e-mail at kalbertson@dailyinterlake.com.