Promoting abstinence

It's an inevitable part of growing up: Eventually, children learn where babies really come from.

Maybe they hear it on the playground or from their health teacher; maybe they have The Talk with their parents.

However it happens, kids ultimately trade the innocent image of the stork for the more gritty reality.

In today's sex-saturated society, it's a reality that may include a host of infections and diseases. It's a reality that may lead to teen pregnancy, heartbreak and depression.

As such, it's a reality Chuck Weyerhaeuser wants youths to avoid by choosing to remain abstinent until they're married.

To encourage youths to abstain, Weyerhaeuser, a Swan Lake resident, is helping bring the Silver Ring Thing, a faith-based sexual abstinence program, to Montana. His friend, Vern Essenberg, is a volunteer with the program's Michigan chapter, which is making three stops around the state this month.

It will be in Kalispell Sunday night.

The show features teenagers and young adults in a high-energy, high-tech program that urges kids and teens to abstain from sexual activity until marriage. At the end of the show, those who opt for abstinence may purchase a silver ring to remind themselves of their commitment.

Abstinence isn't a popular - or easy - choice, Weyerhaeuser said. Certain activist groups and the media have given it a negative connotation, he explained, and have insisted that teaching abstinence doesn't prevent youths from being sexually active.

"'Abstinence' is a bad name," he said. "But it does work. It's never going to work with everybody."

Abstinence is a message often associated with religious groups such as Silver Ring Thing, which discusses the role God plays in sexuality and relationships. But some secular groups are abstinence advocates as well.

Kalispell School District 5 has an abstinence-based sex-education curriculum. Seventh- and ninth-grade students learn about protection and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), but abstinence is the underlying theme.

"That's the only guarantee that you're not going to get [STIs]," curriculum coordinator Dan Zorn said. "That's the focus of where we go with it."

More than half of Montana's youths are abstaining from sex. According to the most recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey administered by the state Office of Public Instruction, more than 56 percent of high-school students have never had sex.

The number of sexually active students declined over a 14-year period, from 51 percent in 1991 to 44 percent in 2005. Over that same time, however, some sexually transmitted infections were on the rise.

The number of chlamydia cases in the county has climbed since the mid-1990s, said Wendy Doely, director of reproductive health services at the Flathead City-County Health Department. Today, it's the most common sexually transmitted infection in the Flathead Valley.

The health department found 145 cases of chlamydia last year - 11 percent of the people tested in 2006. That's up from 5.9 percent in 2003 and 5.6 percent in 2002, Doely said.

Ninety percent of those cases were in people younger than 25, she added.

"It's definitely an infection more prevalent in the younger population," she said. "That's the population most at risk."

In addition to chlamydia, the health department has seen an increased number of people with human papillomavirus. HPV is an incurable viral infection; as such, the health department isn't legally bound to report it to the Board of Health.

"Once you get it, there's no magic pill you can take to get rid of it," Doely said. "But we recognize that some kids are going to choose to have sex, so they need to be informed about other options."

The health department urges sexually active teens to use condoms, which offer some protection from most sexually transmitted infections, Doely said. But department officials make it clear that there is always some risk involved.

"If you're going to have sex, you should use a condom," she said. "Nothing is foolproof. If that's the choice you make, you need to protect yourself."

Kalispell schools have a similar philosophy, Zorn said.

"Our approach is not 'abstinence only'" he said. "It's 'abstinence primarily.' … That's where we start with it."

While the curriculum presents abstinence as the only risk-free option, the district can't ignore the fact that some youths are having sex, Zorn said.

"Certainly we don't have our heads in the sand about our kids," he said. "We know that many of them do remain abstinent … but we also recognize that there are teens that are sexually active. We have a responsibility to them as well."

Above all, the district tries to respect family values. The Kalispell curriculum encourages kids to talk to their parents about sex and presents information for those who don't choose to abstain.

"I think a pretty balanced approach is where we're coming from," he said.

Silver Ring Thing likewise encourages youths to talk about sex with their parents. Parents are invited to attend the program; during the first part of the show, they're separated from their kids to watch a video on sexually transmitted infections. They rejoin the group for the remainder of the program.

When parents attend the show with their children, it opens the doors for communication, Essenberg said. It gives children and parents a common language and a starting point for conversations.

Like School District 5's curriculum, Silver Ring Thing acknowledges the children who have been or currently are sexually active. However, instead of accepting that decision, the Christian group urges youths to start over - to choose abstinence from that point on.

To help them follow through with that decision, Silver Ring Thing volunteers follow up with students for three months after the show with e-mails and additional literature promoting abstinence.

"This is what the other abstinence programs don't do," Weyerhaeuser said. "There's no follow-up."

The program isn't out to spoil students' good times, he said. It simply wants young people to make the healthiest choices they can. For Silver Ring Thing volunteers and other abstinence advocates, that means postponing sex.

"Sex is great - in the context of marriage," Weyerhaeuser said.

Reporter Kristi Albertson may be reached at 758-4438 or by e-mail at kalbertson@dailyinterlake.com.