Helping vets beat new foe

Veteran starts support group for troops with PTSD

Lawrence "John" Sheehan realized he had to do something to help others when he was a patient at a VA facility in Sheridan, Wyo.

Just as he finished his program, he noticed two Iraq War veterans, 19 and 20 years old, who were arriving for treatment.

"I saw myself in their eyes," he said.

Sheehan, a veteran of the Vietnam War, spent years fighting a disability with no medical classification until the 1980s. But veterans have always known that hard combat wounded some warriors for life.

Over the years, soldiers have described victims as shell-shocked or suffering from combat fatigue. After extensive research after the Vietnam War, the mental syndrome had a name: post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

Sheehan knows the symptoms all too well.

Nightmares, bursts of anger, emotional distancing, addiction, startle responses and hyper-vigilance defined his daily existence for almost 40 years.

"All these things lead to shame and guilt and self-hatred," he said.

His extended stay at the Sheridan VA treatment facility turned his life around.

Therapy gave him tools to cope with the ups and downs of his mental disorder. New research into physiological causes of PTSD brought Sheehan understanding and self-forgiveness.

"They told me in Sheridan that it [traumatic experience] causes chemical changes in your brain," he said. "It inhibits you from making the right decisions."

After decades of not discussing his experiences or feelings, Sheehan said he has learned to talk in a controlled way as an emotional safety valve. He organized a new PTSD support group which meets Saturday, Aug. 11, to offer this relief to others.

"A combat vet relates more to another combat vet than a professional," Sheehan said. "These kids who are coming home - they're going to need someone to turn to in their darkness."

Although he went to war in Vietnam decades ago, the fallout from too many battles and personal loss hasn't changed in the era of in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sheehan wants to stem a rising tide of soldier suicides.

"PTSD is rampant because of the multiple tours and length of tours," he said.

Sheehan followed the same path to post-traumatic stress disorder.

His journey began in 1964 when he joined the Marine Corps at 18, inspired by John Wayne and the movie "The Sands of Iwo Jima." Reality was a million miles from Hollywood.

Sheehan became part of the 1st Battalion of the 9th Marines. His unit endured the longest sustained combat and suffered the highest killed-in-action rate in Marine Corps history.

Unit legend contends that their battalion killed Ho Chi Minh's son. The story goes that the president of North Vietnam vowed revenge, deeming the 1st Battalion of the 9th Marines "The Walking Dead."

This threat became the battalion's slogan as well as its fate.

"It was pretty insane," he said. "Only 47 of 800 came home."

"Walking Dead" also aptly described the few, such as Sheehan, who didn't fly home in a flag-draped coffin.

After two years of brutal combat, Sheehan was declared "mentally unstable" by the Marine Corps. He was in his second tour of duty in Vietnam.

"I was sent to a psych ward in a Navy hospital in Japan," he recalled.

After a stay in the hospital, he received a medical discharge instead of a cure.

Sheehan came home incapable of fitting back into the normal flow of work or personal life. His first marriage collapsed as he kept "stuffing and stuffing" his memories and emotions. He also treated painful thoughts with alcohol, a pattern he established in the Marine Corps.

"I learned to drink after missions so I could relax," Sheehan said.

Years passed but nothing changed in the downward spiral of his life. He couldn't hold a job or nurture a relationship.

In 2005, Sheehan finally sought help at the VA Medical Center in Sheridan, which specializes in post-traumatic stress disorder.

"When I got there, it was do or die," he said. "I thought 'You're getting ready to move into your 60s.'"

After working with one PTSD group at the VA hospital, Sheehan asked his therapists and caseworkers to let him stay to participate in more sessions. He said he was learning about himself and gathering tools he needed to succeed.

"It's been an uphill battle," he said. "But I do okay - I'm staying clean."

He remembers the irony of one of the staff members telling him as he left that he had looked like "the walking dead" when he first arrived at Wyoming medical center.

Sheehan now has a passion to share what he learned to keep his disorder in check. When he has a bad day, he said he gathers his tools and starts working on his feelings.

"Sometimes I just get quiet within myself and let it pass," he said.

Sheehan has received backing and a group room at Pathways Treatment Center to hold the PTSD support meetings. He also has his therapists, Bob Jordan of the VA Medical Clinic and Dave Segerstrom of Montana Behavior Health, as resources.

He teamed up with Allen Erickson of Northwest Montana Veterans Food Pantry to facilitate the meetings. They plan to use a 12-step program modeled on AA but customized by Vietnam veterans to alleviate the suffering of those with PTSD.

He doesn't expect a huge crowd when he holds the first meeting at 5 p.m. Saturday.

"It's hard for someone with PTSD to reach out," he said. "Your first reaction is to hide it. Then isolation sets in."

Sheehan said some Vietnam veterans still live a hermit's life out in the woods here. He believes vet-to-vet holds the best hope of reaching them as well as those just back from war in the Middle East.

"Combat vets are all brothers," he said. "I'm doing this from my heart. I want people to know there is hope."

For additional information about the group, call Sheehan at 212-5157.

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com