Roar of silence

Polson wrestler Ryley Duford refuses to let handicap slow him down

The Daily Inter Lake

Julie Duford remembers the day well.

She tells the story of a Polson wrestling dual a couple of years ago.

The Pirates were the visitors.

Her son Ryley, then a freshman, was on the mat. He was losing his match, but that wasn't what irritated his mom.

It was what happened after the buzzer sounded that made her mad.

The referee didn't touch Ryley, so he kept on wrestling.

It only took a few seconds for someone in the host team's crowd to holler out "What is he, deaf?"

As a matter of fact…

Ryley Duford is severely to profoundly deaf.

"He's basically one step from complete deafness," said his dad Dave.

"But really, that's the only time (there has been a misunderstanding)," Julie Duford said.

"He has had challenges," she admitted. "But so many people know him and they help him. It's pretty nice," she said.

"Sometimes people think he can do more than he can, because he reacts and he copes … but I would rather them have high expectations.

"(Being deaf) really hasn't held him back. He's really a typical teenager," Julie said.

He's become a high school junior with a 3.0 grade point average, friends, a girlfriend, an active prep sports career in both football and wrestling … and a cell phone.

"Socially, he fits right in," Dave said.

"I like to hang out with my friends, ride BMX bikes and just be lazy," Ryley said with a smile.

He's living a pretty normal life.

He says football is his favorite sport, but Ryley is also the No. 4 seed at 160 pounds for Polson at this weekend's all-class state wrestling tournament in Billings.

Ryley and his parents say part of his success is due to interpreter Pam Carruth, who accompanies Ryley throughout his day.

"The school provides him with total communication. I'm just there to catch him up on what he misses," Carruth said.

Carruth attends every practice, every meet, every game and is in every classroom with Ryley.

While Ryley plays nose guard for the Pirate football team, Carruth walks alongside head football coach Scott Wilson.

When Ryley steps onto the wrestling mat, Carruth settles into the chair next to head coach Bob Owen at the edge of the mat.

"I go everywhere his immediate coaches go. I just sign exactly what the coaches say," Carruth said.

"All I do is shadow them around. After five years, it's not a big deal any more."

Football may be Ryley's favorite ("Because I like to hit people.") but Owen is glad to have Duford on his team, too.

"He's having a good year," the coach said.

"The Owens (Bob and assistant coach Bill) are really good with him. They get right down on the mat with him," Julie Duford said.

"I know any time a kid has a handicap, it's a lesson for everybody," Owen said.

All the referees in Ryley's two sports are informed of his hearing impairment before competition begins. During football games, one of his teammates takes on the responsibility of touching Ryley when the whistle blows. On the mat, the ref has to be quick to stop the action at the horn.

"The communication thing is always difficult," Owen said.

"Pam is really helpful," he said.

"Sometimes the coaches look away. Then I don't know if they're talking to me or somebody else," Ryley said.

With the other wrestlers on the Pirate team, Owen can yell hints or ideas during the match about what they should do next.

"Unless he can get a break where he can look up at me (Ryley is on his own out there)," Owen said.

But as helpful as Carruth is, she can't duplicate a pep talk.

"I'm giving pep talks, telling them why I want them to do things … part of that gets to Ryley - and part of it doesn't.

"It's quite a challenge. I get frustrated with him from time to time," Owen admitted. "He doesn't realize how good he is sometimes. You could sit down and talk that out with another kid," he said.

Ryley's deafness was discovered when he was 22 months old.

"My brother bought him a toy laser gun (for Christmas). He walked around (firing) it up next to his head," Dave explained.

When Dave tried that, the noise nearly knocked him flat.

"It just broke your eardrum. It was right after that we took him in," he said.

Strangely, the diagnosis didn't bother the Dufords.

Their thought was simply "He's not going to die," Dave said.

"When you hear it's not a brain tumor, it doesn't sound so bad," Julie agreed.

But the news was far from cheery.

"They told us he wouldn't ever talk. They wanted to send him away," Julie said.

The man who came to the Duford's door recommended a deaf school for the little boy - and said Ryley should leave right away.

"He's lucky he's alive," Dave said of that visitor.

"We were freaked out. We couldn't imagine a little 2-year-old kid going to a school 100 miles away."

Instead, the Dufords smothered their son in speech therapy, bought him some hearing aids and worked hard to keep his life and the lives of his two younger sisters as normal as possible.

"He doesn't want to sign," Julie said. "We never got really good at it," she added.

Instead, Ryley has made himself a very good lipreader.

"So, we repeat stuff. There is a lot of repeating. We drive around with the dome light on," she added.

And the future?

Ryley hopes to study architecture at North Idaho College in Coeur d'Alene.

His parents are behind him 100 percent.

"We don't ever want to tell him there's something he can't do," Julie said.

"He works hard, so I think he'll be fine."

"He can do anything, if people are willing to work with him," Dave said.