'She's the one'

By LYNNETTE HINTZE

Couple find true love at Kalispell nursing home

The Daily Inter Lake

A pair of newlyweds at Brendan House are proving to the rest of the world that it's never too late to fall in love.

Robert Wyman and Donna Darling exchanged vows Sept. 23 at the Kalispell long-term care facility after a courtship that spanned five years. Though both are wheechair-bound, they're inseparable. They hold hands and coo over each other constantly.

"This is how we find them every day - all snuggled up," said Cheryl Lowe, Brendan House activities director. "It's been that way from the start. They're our bookends; you don't see one without the other."

Wyman loves to tell the story of how the two found each other.

"I met her on the Eagle Transit bus, and I knew right away that she's the one," he said. "I took one look at her and knew it was love at first sight."

Love blossomed over meals shared at the Agency on Aging's congregate meal program.

"Then one day she wasn't there and I was kind of worried," Wyman recalled.

He quickly learned that Darling had suffered a stroke and was in the hospital.

"I almost dropped to the floor," he said.

"It was a day or two before Christmas and I came to see her. I said, 'Donna, may I call you honey?' and she grinned from ear to ear."

When Darling, 72, became a resident at Brendan House, Wyman came to visit her almost every day.

The stroke left her speech impaired, but the two communicate just fine.

It's a language of love.

A year and a half ago, Wyman, 76, suffered medical problems and also needed long-term care. The choice was obvious: He wanted to live at Brendan House to be near his sweetheart.

"They mooned over each other for another year" before Wyman proposed, Lowe recalled.

Planning the wedding became a staff project.

Lowe accompanied the couple to the courthouse to get a marriage license, a staffer in the activities department made the wedding cake and many Brendan House employees came in on their day off to witness the wedding ceremony.

They were the first residents to marry at the nursing home.

"Life is full of firsts," Lowe mused.

But it wasn't the first wedding for either the bride or groom. In fact, Wyman's ex-wife also lives at Brendan House in a different wing of the building.

"I see her once in a while," he said. "We're still friends."

This is Darling's third marriage.

The two lived in separate wings of the facility prior to the nuptials, but now share a room.

"Yeah, we used to live in different neighborhoods and still had to date," Wyman said with a smile.

The couple have lifelong ties to the Flathead Valley.

Wyman was born in Kalispell and worked as a janitor for School District 5. His two daughters live in the Kalispell area. Darling's maiden name was Grosswiler and she, too, is a Kalispell native. A former teacher, she has four sons who live in the Flathead Valley.

The newlyweds spent Christmas at Brendan House, where the staff and community volunteers make sure residents have a festive December.

"Christmas is an ongoing thing the month of December," Lowe said, noting the constant stream of carolers, youth groups and musical ensembles that entertain during the holidays.

"And on Christmas morning, Santa doesn't forget Brendan House," he added.

Wyman pointed out another day to celebrate - Dec. 23 - the couple's three-month anniversary.

So far, it's been smooth sailing for the young-at-heart duo.

"No fights yet, and we won't have any," Wyman said. "She says I'm a lover, not a fighter. I found a pretty good one."

On the glorious autumn afternoon of their wedding day, they contemplated not only the beginning of their wedded life, but also life ever after.

"If I get there [to heaven] first, I'll wait for you to come," Wyman told his true love. "And if you get there first, you'll wait for me to come."

"Yes," she said.

"And we'll be forever together again," he added.

Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by e-mail at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com