Teaching parents to spot signs of depression
The Daily Inter Lake
There's a story that's made its way around the Internet several times during the past few years. It talks about a high-school freshman boy who meets a classmate carrying all of his textbooks home after school on a Friday afternoon. While the first boy watches, a group of youths trips the book-laden boy; pages go flying and the boy slowly, sadly gathers them up.
Moved by compassion, the boy helps the bullied youth collect his books, and then walks him home. By the end of the short walk, the two are fast friends.
Their high-school years fly by, and by the time graduation arrives, the boy who'd been picked on four years earlier is handsome, popular and has been named valedictorian. In his commencement speech, he talks about the importance of friendship and tells the story of how he met his best friend that fateful afternoon freshman year.
He'd grown tired of being bullied and feeling alone, so he'd planned to commit suicide during the weekend. He'd cleaned out his locker so his parents wouldn't have to do it later. The taunting and tripping on his way home had only solidified his decision to end his life.
Then a complete stranger had helped him up. That simple act had given him a reason to keep living.
It gave him hope - and when a person is in that dark place, hope is the most important thing he can receive.
That's what counselor Jodie Barber told a group of parents during a brown-bag luncheon Thursday at Kalispell Junior High School. About 15 people showed up to learn how to recognize signs of depression and prevent suicide.
Suicide is an issue for people of all ages. In 2004, more than 32,000 Americans committed suicide, making it the 11th-leading cause of death in the United States, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. It's the third-leading cause of death among people ages 10 to 24.
"Kids especially have no idea how their words can mean so much or tear someone down so quickly," Barber said.
Montana's statistics have long been higher than the national average. In 1998, Montana had the fourth-highest suicide rate in the country. By 2002, Montana was second only to Wyoming.
But suicide, Barber said, is the most preventable cause of death.
"We never know when just that little, tiny thing may give them hope," she said.
Because it's such an uncomfortable subject, many people would prefer to ignore it and hope it goes away. But not confronting the issue is a mistake, Barber said. Most suicidal people exhibit warning signs, especially during the week preceding a suicide attempt.
To help make the confrontation easier, a group in Spokane created a suicide-prevention technique called QPR, short for Question, Persuade, Refer. The group's goal, Barber said, is to make QPR as widespread as CPR.
QPR isn't intended to replace treatment or counseling, she said. Nor is it a guaranteed prevention technique.
"We can do every, every thing, and there's still going to be a small, small percentage," she said.
But simply talking openly about suicide greatly decreases a seriously depressed person's likelihood of following through with it.
The first step is to question the depressed person. The idea that talking about suicide increases the risk of follow-through is a myth, Barber said.
It doesn't matter if it's asked directly or indirectly, she added, as long as some form of "Are you considering suicide?" is communicated.
If the person says yes, the next step is to persuade him not to go through with it and to get help. But first, Barber said, it's important simply to listen.
"Listen to the problem and give them your full attention," she said. "I cannot emphasize that enough."
Finally, make the referral.
QPR guidelines say it's best to personally take a depressed person to a mental-health professional. Make sure the person knows you care and genuinely want them to get help, Barber said.
If persuasion fails, and the person refuses to get help, take the step for them. Consult a local mental health professional or call 1-800-SUICIDE.
On the 'Net:
QPR Institute http://www.qprinstitute.com
National Institute Of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov
Reporter Kristi Albertson may be reached at 758-4438 or by e-mail at kalbertson@dailyinterlake.com.