Tailored teaching

Educator plans instruction, discipline to fit each child

Stephanie Miller learned an important lesson early in her teaching career. She needed to individualize behavior management just as she individualizes instruction for each student.

"Ninety percent of what I teach is socialization, communication and self-confidence," she said. "I use a lot of Montessori."

Miller teaches 12 children in pre-kindergarten, kindergarten and first grade at the Individualized Education Center, a private school for children of employees at Kalispell Regional Medical Center.

Open from 6:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., the center operates as part of Kid Kare, providing convenient, affordable day care tailored to the hospital's long shifts. Employees drop off their children near the doorstep of the hospital.

Judging from the smiling faces and hugs given Miller, the children find the arrangement as agreeable as their parents even though Miller strictly enforces behavior rules.

Her students even changed their attitudes at home. Miller said she has heard from parents that their children came out of her classroom eager to pitch in with housework.

"I don't know where that came from," she said with a laugh.

Most likely, it reflects her goal to arm the children with the self-confidence and discipline to make the right choices in high school and later life.

"I want them to look at their friends who are doing drugs and say 'I don't want to be part of that,'" Miller said.

She saw results of making bad choices when she worked as a live-in guardian/counselor at a gang center in Las Vegas. But drawing on her creativity and training, Miller found ways to get even some 15- to 21 year-olds to accept and practice discipline.

"I ended up being really successful with them," she said with a smile.

Miller, a mother of three children, said the secret to winning the war of wills begins with knowing exactly what you want to accomplish.

"Be very sure of what your rules are. You have to be consistent with what you are doing," she said. "I saw a great quote that said 'You can't discipline something you can tolerate.'"

The teacher advises that starting out tough makes the going easier later. In the first weeks of school, she said she uses a firmer hand to establish her authority over the class.

While Miller has consistent rules, she administers them with a tone and body language tailored to the particular student. A very shy child who rarely goes astray gets a correction with a very gentle tone and non-threatening posture.

"If you're too harsh, you've lost them," she said.

With an aggressive student with poor focus or attention deficit disorder, Miller uses a deeper voice with a sharper tone to get their attention. She then explains the behavior boundary they have crossed.

If a child fails to line up for outside time, he or she loses the privilege of recess. It doesn't take long before the rule is followed.

She uses body movements borrowed from the Mind Gym method to help children develop the mental discipline of focusing. Miller demonstrated a stance, standing quietly with feet and arms crossed and fingers interwoven.

"It's an exercise that helps reconnect the synapses or neurons in the brain," she said. "It's a centering pose."

Miller uses a modern twist on the traditional "thinking cap" concept with a child unable to focus on a task. She asks them to put on a cap and rub a particular place on each ear to help them clear the mind and concentrate.

Conflicts between two children get resolved by working on communication and confidence. She said whining, frowning and hitting mean the student needs help with self-confidence.

"You look at the children and recognize when they're expressing themselves ineffectively," she said.

She separates the two combatants and has each explain the problem. If one becomes inarticulate, Miller calmly has the child start over until each understands why he or she became angry.

In the process, a child learns to identify personal boundaries.

"It's centering them and getting them to identify with themselves," she said.

When a child becomes enraged, Miller uses a mirror.

"I say 'look at your face. You're scaring me.'"

She also has them touch their chests to feel their wildly beating hearts, so they understand their own physical distress.

When a tantrum happens in public, Miller suggests taking the child lightly by the wrist and leading him or her to a safe place. At home, she said the classic advice is to walk away to avoid feeding into the frenzy.

According to Miller, a willful child feels relief when a strong adult takes control.

"Strong-willed children know they can do everything," she said. "Once you show them you're stronger, they know they don't have to do everything."

For people who need more than advice, Miller offers a service similar to that on the FOX reality television program, "Nanny 911." She said she works privately with parents who have difficulty with a child's behavior.

As soon as she enters a family's home she begins making the environment peaceful and compatible.

"I've gone to homes and rearranged the shelves," she said. "When a child has too much stuff, he can't focus."

Miller laughed as she recalled seeing "Nanny 911." She told her husband, Fred, that was exactly what she does.

But she does much more as a creative teacher, packing her curriculum with fun.

Wrapping up her second year on Friday, Miller debuted a play she wrote based on the novel "Because of Winn-Dixie." Her 12 students made the costumes and scenery with Patricia Stewart, a local artist.

The play, performed for the parents, incorporated the many things learned by the children around the plot about a dog who serves as a bridge between a lonely child and a town full of characters.

Miller quotes a little wisdom from the play that parents, teachers and misbehaving children might want to remember.

"The older wise woman takes her (the lonely child Opal) to a tree," Miller said. "She tells her 'Even nice people do things wrong.'"

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com.