Culture said to create gender expectations

How people are raised is a key element in gender expectations, according to a college sociology instructor.

In a lecture Tuesday, Debra Miller of Flathead Valley Community College argued the "nurture" perspective in the first of a series of talks on "Emerging Views on Gender."

Her lecture kicked off the 14th honors symposium series of seven lectures organized by the college.

Miller, who holds a doctorate in sociology, said she titled her lecture "Fractured Fairy Tales" as a reference to the traditional view of women in tales of princesses waiting passively in a glass coffin for a kiss.

"It's not a coincidence that the two primary authors were named the Brothers Grimm - very telling," Miller said, eliciting a laugh from the audience.

She drew a distinction between sex (a biological fact) and gender, which she defined as culturally determined expectations assigned on the basis of sex.

Miller said gender role differentiation begins with treatment at birth.

"You get a bouncing baby boy," she said. "You get a beautiful baby girl."

Even endearing terms reflect gender differences when parents call girls names like "Sweetie" but reserve "Tiger" for boys. According to Miller, studies show people cuddle and touch girls more and speak to them in high-pitched tones.

Because babies begin learning gender expectations in the delivery room, Miller said no methodology exists to study sex and gender independently.

"There are undeniable differences but they are very limited," she said.

Miller listed these as menstruation and the ability to give birth and lactate. She maintains most other differences between men and women spring from social expectations.

To make her point, Miller said significant differences exist in gender behavior between countries. If differences between men and women were all biologically based, she said, men and women would act the same worldwide.

Even within the United States, Miller said, gender behaviors differ between poor, working-class people and the well-to-do. She said that people within the working class reflect the most traditional roles.

"Masculine and feminine are believed to be opposites but that's problematic," she said. "We live highly gendered lives."

Miller said the classic nature-versus-nurture debate has no satisfactory conclusion because the two interact to an unknown extent.

Advocates of the nature perpspective argue that gender traits flow from sex. For instance, they say women naturally make better parents.

Miller laughed about an explanation she received that the way men and women hold their books is related to women holding babies to their chests while men held spears at their side.

"I thought it was hilarious," she said.

Miller urged the audience not to be swayed by scientific studies that show men and women using different sides of their brains. She said gender roles result from culture, observation and experience.

"They have to be learned," she said. "We learn gender roles from many sources: the media, peers, education, religion."

She said people hear "remarkably consistent" messages that give power to the illusion of innate gender qualities. But she maintains behavior expectations take shape in a cultural context.

According to Miller, men have less flexibility within their gender roles then women. She said the mere hint of feminine characteristics in a man gives rise to homophobia.

She pointed out that many parents wouldn't dream of putting a pink outfit on a boy, even in the privacy of the home.

"What is the power of pink?" Miller asked. "We do not do the same thing with little baby girls."

For some reason, she said, the stakes don't seem as high with a girl exhibiting behaviors defined as masculine as a boy exhibiting feminine associated traits. Women have no problem describing themselves as tomboys when they were young.

"You're not going to hear a male say, 'When I a teenager, I was a

real sissy,'" Miller said, evoking laughter.

She said it points out a stigma attached to feminine stereotypes. Miller compared male stereotypes, including:

. Big wheel: success, status, a need to look up to.

. Sturdy oak: toughness, confidence.

. Ladies' man: emphasis on sexual prowess and conquests.

Miller provided what she called an "appalling quote" from author George Meredith:

"Woman's reason is in the milk of her breasts."

Miller said narrowly defined gender roles shape children's views of what it means to be a man or woman.

If biology created the differences, Miller said, society would have to accommodate immutable differences. If society creates gender roles, society can change them when circumstances change.

"And that has happened," she said.

She said it's good news that the role of fathers is expanding from breadwinners to partners in caretaking.

"That's a real sign of hope," Miller said.

Upcoming lectures include "Feminism 101" with Brooke Barnett of the University of Montana on Monday and "Biological Differences" with Steven Gaulin of the University of California at Santa Barbara on March 20.

Both lectures begin at 7 p.m. at the Red Lion Hotel Kalispell. For additional information about the series of seven lectures, contact the community college at 756-3822 or pick up a brochure on the Kalispell campus.

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com.