Moms share three generations of love

Listen up moms-in-training or moms-in-waiting.

Leah Galloway, mother of 7, grandmother of 31 and great-grandmother of 50, has good news for overworked, guilt-ridden women celebrating Mother's Day.

Successful child rearing has nothing to do with keeping a clean house, cooking gourmet meals and producing a child with a 4.0 GPA.

"I'm not a very good housekeeper," she said with a laugh. "And I hated to cook but I learned to cook from (husband) Calvin."

Some of her children excelled in school and others struggled. But she counts herself a success because each child grew up feeling valued for his or her special talents and carried forward solid values to their own families.

Her daughter Tessa Hill and granddaughter Kelcy Beerman agree Galloway qualifies for a master in mothering.

"She was a good mom," Hill said. "She was always there for me."

Galloway, Hill and Beerman represent three generations of mothers, each caring for children in a world much changed from their own mother's.

A mother for more than 50 years, Galloway remembers making most of her children's clothes, baking up to 20 loaves of bread a week and canning all the family's vegetables.

"I still make a lot of my own jams," she said.

While Hill sewed some clothes and knows how to can, she said she now buys vegetables and clothing to save time and money, as economic considerations factor in to the price of material.

Hill and her husband Kent are now raising two of their grandchildren. She said parents just try their best to teach the right values.

"Usually, they don't disappoint," Hill said. "But if they do, it's not the end of the world. Whatever they do, you always love your children."

Reflecting another societal change, granddaughter Beerman and her husband, Jesse, share caretaking for their 2-year-old daughter, Daylin, because they both work. Jesse takes over when Beerman works late into the evening and weekends as a certified nurse assistant at Brendan House.

Because her parents work different shifts, Daylin spends only about four hours in child-care a few days a week. Batting big blue eyes and playing contentedly with her kitty, little Daylin looks like an easy first child to mother.

But Beerman said otherwise, adding that she could probably handle only one more.

"She's quite the handful," Beerman said with a laugh. "She's too smart for her own good."

The little girl's T-shirt provided a clue, reading "I'm in charge here. My parents are just for show."

Galloway was the first to say that young people, even with fewer children, more money and convenience, have a tougher job parenting. She recalled the when she was able to correct behavior the old-fashioned way.

"You could whop them on the bottom and not have someone report you for child abuse," she said. "I used a little willow switch. I made them cut their own."

She admits that most of the time her children took so long finding switches that she forgot about the offense by the time they came back with it. Hill remembered her mom's tactic as a very effective deterrent.

"We were more afraid of what she might do," she said.

Hill gained a new perspective after adopting her two grandsons. She said they require more discipline than her own four children at a time in life when she has less energy.

She attributes their behavior to their mother leaving them with no warning. But the boys continue to improve with the love and guidance of their grandparents.

"They're two fantastic boys," Galloway said.

But then she tells all the other great-grandchildren and grandchildren the same thing. They all know it and love her for it.

Hill said her mom actively practiced that concept at home. She said her mother never compared her to her sister or brothers or expected her to pursue the same activities, such as her brothers' musical interests.

"That was the nice thing - there was no pressure," she said. "But if we wanted to do something, she would find a way."

All three mothers agree that today's world offers so many options that parents find themselves running in 100 different directions. Extra-curricular activities from soccer to music lessons take a toll on family togetherness.

Hill said the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints helps a lot in that respect. They attend many family activities at their church on Whitefish Stage Road.

"We also have 'family home evening' every Monday night worldwide," she said. "You just spend time together as a family. It's just a neat concept."

All three women were raised in the faith from which they draw values that impact their approach as mothers. They find many television programs counterproductive to the ideals they want to teach their children.

Beerman said she limits Daylin's viewing to "Curious George," "Clifford the Big Red Dog" and "Wonder Pets." Hill agreed that cartoons require close inspection.

She said she watched cartoons for the first time in years after adopting her two grandsons.

"I said 'Holy Cow!'" she said. "There were so many terrible things - disrespect to elders and to each other."

Grandma Galloway agreed, saying the cartoons had terrible distorted images. She even edits television for herself, rushing to change the show when "four-letter words" pop up.

Hill and Galloway advocate outdoor time as a great way to limit television, Xbox and PlayStation exposure while fighting the epidemic of couch potato youngsters.

Galloway recalled that she used to have up to 25 children playing outside at her house so she could keep an eye on her children as well as her grandchildren.

"They would congregate at Grandma Leah's house," she said with a smile. "They knew they would get their lunch."

She served up their favorite sandwich of peanut butter with her homemade jelly and jam. At least that aspect of mothering hasn't changed.

Galloway said the most important part of mothering transcends the years and cultural changes. She said just pour all the love that you have into your children.

Hill agreed.

"Just love them unconditionally," she said. "Let them know they can always come to you no matter what comes along."

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com