Saving lives

Tonya Passwater wishes she had known QPR when her dad suffered a debilitating depression which ended suicide in 1998.

"If I had had this training, my dad might still be here," she said.

Just six months later, she also lost her father-in-law who killed himself while battling terminal cancer.

Passwater shared her personal tragedy while training Kalispell police officers in a suicide prevention method called Question, Persuade, Refer or QPR. Like CPR, QPR saves lives from what she called "the most preventable" cause of death.

After training in the method, Passwater realized she missed many clues to her father's dangerous state of mind.

"I didn't know anything about depression," she said.

Her mother was equally unprepared when her father was overwhelmed by despair in the spring of 1998. She did everything she could think of, including taking him to the emergency room and then to a physician.

Passwater said her father received four tranquilizers from the hospital. A few days later, his physician provided Prozac which takes effect after about six weeks.

"He gave it four days," she said. "I lost my dad on April 2, 1998."

The hospital has since changed its procedures by calling in a mental health professional to evaluate people in crisis.

Passwater's father was just 49. Her father-in-law was 70 when he took his life, apparently hoping to spare his wife from caring for him in the final months of a many-year battle against colon cancer.

No matter what age, people who kill themselves inflict devastating injuries on the loved-ones they leave behind. Shadows of sadness cross Passwater's face as she relayed her story to illustrate how to recognize suicidal behavior.

She said everyone gives signs.

Passwater said her dad had bought a horse not many months earlier. Out of the blue, he told her mother he wanted her to know where the horse's papers were in case she decided to sell the animal if something happened to him.

Her mother was surprised but didn't recognize the action as a person getting his affairs in order. There were other signs, like cleaning out his work area, which, when put together pointed toward suicidal intention.

Passwater related a story about a younger victim to illustrate another sign of suicidal intent - giving away prized possessions.

"There was a young teenager who called up a friend and said 'I want you to have all my CDs,'" she said.

His friend was shocked when the teenager killed himself not long afterward. He had assumed his friend was just moving and couldn't take the CDs with him.

Passwater pointed out that people of all ages fall victim to mental disorders like depression that may lead to self destruction. She said widespread myths often keep family and friends from intervening.

These myths include notions that no one can stop a suicide or that asking someone if they are considering killing themselves plants the seed. Another is that no one can stop a person who has decided to commit suicide.

"People in crisis can get help and they will probably never be suicidal again," she said.

Another widely held belief, that people who talk about suicide never follow through, also belies the facts. Passwater said the more signs and clues a person gives, the more likely he or she is to complete the act.

She detailed the QPR method as:

. Questioning a family member or friend if they intend to or have considered killing themselves.

. Persuading them not to by listening and offering hope that others can help.

. Referring them by either taking them to a counselor, getting them to make an appointment or at least extracting a promise to seek professional assistance.

"Anyone can do it," she said. "Suicide is everybody's business."

An employee of Flathead City-County Health Department, Passwater got involved in prevention when the health department and the Youth Services Network received a three-year grant to reduce suicide, particularly among youth, in Flathead County.

Passwater is one of several people qualified to give QPR training. Other groups or organizations interested in the one-hour presentation may contact Joan Schmidt, director of the Flathead Suicide Prevention Coalition, at 871-1008.

Schmidt encourages every group in the community to call.

"Montana has one highest suicide rates in the nation," Schmidt said. "This winter we'd like to train everyone in QPR."

This state ranks second in suicides among youth 10 to 24. It represents the second leading cause of death among young Montanans.

According to Schmidt, experts suspect that statistics under-report actual suicide by not including suspicious auto accidents as well as deaths with no note left behind to differentiate between an accident and intention.

Families may become involved by attending a coalition open house at 4 p.m. Sept. 10 at the County Health Department, 1035 First Ave. West in Kalispell.

"It will be the kick-off for National Suicide Prevention Week, Sept. 9 through 15," Schmidt said. "We'll share the suicide prevention plan approved by the county commissioners."

Elements of the plan include reducing the stigma of seeking help for mental illness, reducing access to lethal means and methods of self-harm, increasing access to mental health services, promoting effective clinical practices, and expanding suicidal behavior surveillance.

"Our intention is that we have a suicide prevention curriculum in the middle schools and high schools," Schmidt said.

The coalition, formed last winter, finds progress in the fight to eliminate suicide. For one, the rate has not increased in the last two years.

"What has gone up is the number of calls by youth to the mental health crisis line," Schmidt said.

People interested in helping this cause should note another major event, a community walk, scheduled to start at 10 a.m. Sept. 29 in Depot Park in Kalispell. People interested in more details should call organizer Mary Weston at 752-6431.

Called "Out of the Darkness," the event seeks to raise money for research and education about suicide, while raising awareness about the preventable death rarely even listed in the victim's obituary.

"It's the second taboo after sex," Schmidt said. "People don't want to say suicide."

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com