Questions to vex the young college-bound

My oldest son was complaining before he signed up online for the ACT college entrance exam the other night that the SAT signups took him forever - he was hoping the ACT would not require the same amount of time.

It did turn out to be a time-sucking registration process - but at least it had its entertaining moments.

Back in the day, I believe we just filled out a paper asking basic, common-sense questions - name, address, Social Security number, maybe potential colleges and what we were thinking of majoring in. But I think stating our preference as to whether or not we liked, disliked, or were indifferent to the prospect of "sorting, counting and storing supplies" was not part of the deal.

This was one of the 72 listed "activities" that prospective ACT takers were supposed to rate, as the responses to the items are gauged to help students consider college major and career possibilities.

My son, fed up by that point, did not pore over the significance of each question, and just clicked that he "liked" many of the suggested activities that are rarely undertaken with enthusiasm.

These included - and I am not making these up - such suggestions as "pack things into boxes," "discuss a misleading advertisement with a salesperson," "figure shipping costs for catalog orders" and "operate office machines."

He was probably concerned that professing to dislike the suggested activities might be a black mark on his record, that he might one day receive a notice from an admissions officer that says - "We regret to inform you that you're not quite Stanford material with your stated indifference to box-packing, conducting business by phone, watching for forest fires and giving directions to visitors."

Still, I would have answered truthfully.

I am so frightened of being thought a troublemaker that when I went through the sign-up process to revisit the site, I actually used most of my name and real Social Security number, though I changed my year of birth and gave myself a new middle initial. I'll probably be busted for fraud, but I had to break in there somehow.

I answered most of the questions truthfully, until I decided I would not be targeted by the feds for ACT-registration abuse. I then went crazy and went on record as taking one year of Spanish, one year of German, one year of French, 3 1/2 years of a language known as "other," and only one year of English and math.

Pretty daring of me, but this helped me get to the fun stuff, which started off with "College Interests."

One of the best was a question that obviously hasn't been updated since 1905.

"I prefer to attend a college within a maximum yearly tuition (not including room and board) of… "

The choices ranged from $500 (which might cover a once-a-week adult-ed class in "Spanish phrases for your two-week holiday in Mexico") to $10,000 as the maximum choice, to "no preference."

Of course, everyone would prefer a $500-a-year college, but after finding out that most of the colleges my son dreams of attending are in the $40,000-a-year range, the parameters make it seem as if the ACT people just aren't paying attention.

Then in the category that asks for information about your high school, one of the choices is: "I am not in high school or I can't find my high school." This will make it difficult to be there on testing day.

Then there was a long list of categories of accomplishments that students are asked to share.

Among those a student can check are the distinguished achievements such as under "Speech," placing first, second or third in a regional or state speech contest, or having roles in a play (not high school or church related).

But then there is some obvious "accomplishment" inflation, with a listing for "Read for a part in a high school play."

Another area of "accomplishment" that could be checked by the prospective ACT-taker is "attended athletic events regularly." If this is an accomplishment, why is there no "Leadership" category for leading the student section in obnoxious and inappropriate cheers?

One would hope that the questions on the real ACT will be just as amusing and irrelevant. And, as that will probably not be the case, it would be nice if my son takes his oval-filling a bit more seriously.

Reporter Heidi Gaiser may be reached at 758-4431 or by e-mail at hgaiser@dailyinterlake.com