When guests start to stink
I was pondering the other day how I'm going to manage the dozen guests who will be staying at our house before and after our daughter's wedding in July. Right now, my sleeping chart rivals a Super 8 guest list at the height of tourism season.
I'm even providing "rustic" quarters - my oldest daughter has been relegated to a tent in the backyard because her bedroom is being commandeered by various relatives throughout the week.
It was serendipitous when a package arrived at the Inter Lake this week with a copy of the new book, "The Good Houseguest," that explains the etiquette of staying in someone's home. This sweet little book is a godsend to those of us who can't say no to relatives.
You know what they say about the Flathead Valley: We have nine months of winter and three months of relatives. And of course there's that age-old wisdom from Benjamin Franklin: "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."
The author of the new little nightstand-sized book is James Havelock of Bozeman, a semi-retired businessman who said he was prompted to write the book after he heard a 14-year-old visitor say, "No, I don't want to help with the dishes. I am on vacation."
The book puts into writing what every host is afraid to say. Havelock has gotten plenty of feedback from people who have read it, and the stories just keep coming.
One guy called Havelock recently to relate how his wife's college roommate and the roommate's husband had stayed with them and made life unbearable. When the husband mentioned he really liked orange juice for breakfast, it seemed like an innocuous request. But when the man then requested exactly four ice cubes in his O.J., it sent the hosts over the edge.
They put a copy of "The Good Houseguest" on the nightstand for their guests, and the guests left the next morning instead of staying the full week.
The book is full of simple suggestions such as "Offer to help out. Then actually help out."
A lot of the advice is common sense for most of us. Clean up after yourself. Eat what is served. If you're going to be late, call ahead. Don't leave wet towels piled up.
But young people in particular "have no concept of what to do in other people's homes," Havelock said during a short phone interview.
He's surprised by how taken aback some people have been about the book, declaring "that book doesn't apply to me."
Havelock has lived in the vacation-friendly states of Montana and Florida and has seen firsthand the good, the bad and the ugly of houseguests.
With the summer relative season nearly upon us, it seems like a good time for a refresher course in houseguest manners. "The Good Houseguest" is available at Amazon.com, or you can e-mail Havelock at books@montanadsl.net for copies or to share your own horror stories about houseguests who wore out their welcome.
Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by e-mail at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com