A home of their own

Cinda Stephens’ family perhaps has more cause than most to give thanks today.

Like countless other families across the country, Stephens and her family are celebrating Thanksgiving at home.

But until last Friday, the family didn’t have a home.

They’ve shared houses with family members. They’ve lived in a tent, a camper and a shelter.

Months of homelessness finally came to an end last week when they started moving into their very own place.

It’s a chance for a fresh start for Cinda, 30; her husband, 27-year-old William Berry; and her children, Robert and Alena Stephens. For more than a year, their lives have been in upheaval; becoming homeless was something none of them ever anticipated.

“A lot of people don’t understand that homeless people could be anybody,” Cinda said.

“It could be you yourself,” William added.

“We were a fully functional family,” Cinda said. “We went from having everything to having nothing.”

“It stinks,” added Alena, 9.

“We know what it feels like to rich, and we know what it feels like to be poor,” 12-year-old Robert said.

About two years ago, William, a combat veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, was a private contractor with the military. He earned good money for the family back home in Texas and filled the lonely hours overseas video-chatting on the Internet with Cinda.

He came home with post-traumatic stress disorder and physical disabilities to an economy in shambles and child support payments from a previous relationship. Even with Cinda waiting tables at Red Lobster — and regularly bringing home $1,000 a week — it wasn’t enough to keep up with the bills.

Then she injured her neck so severely that doctors warned her to stop working or end up in a wheelchair. That blow wiped out the family finances.

“He couldn’t even afford gas,” Cinda said of William.

They ended up losing their house and moving into a tent in William’s home state of Alabama. It was the middle of hurricane season.

Then the family moved into a camper in William’s mother’s front yard. They lived there for about a year, Cinda said — and all the while, she longed to return to Montana, where she had been raised.

“Things are different in the South,” she explained simply.

Cinda’s sister in Cut Bank offered the four of them a place in her house. A church in Alabama bought plane tickets to fly the children to Montana; Cinda and William sold her pickup, packed up his truck and drove west.

Her sister’s house was large enough to accommodate two families, Cinda said, but before too long, Cinda and William decided to move out.

“We have different lifestyles, different personalities, we raise our kids different,” she said.

Living with family rarely works, she added. “It went how it always turns out.”

The family found Samaritan House through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and moved to Kalispell. After a brief stint at the shelter, followed by a short stay with Cinda’s cousin in Whitefish, the family ended up back at Samaritan House in September.

The move meant Robert and Alena had to change schools not long after the school year began.

“We tried to keep the kids in Whitefish,” Cinda said. “We drove them for a couple weeks, but we said, ‘You guys aren’t going to miss school because we don’t have gas.’”

“I had to switch football teams,” said Robert, a seventh-grader, looking put out.

But when he moved to a Kalispell Middle School team, he became team captain and played two or three positions, Cinda bragged. “I’m still proud of him.”

Alena had to miss a project she was looking forward to at Muldown Elementary, but like her brother, she has adjusted to her new school, Peterson Elementary, where she is a third-grader.

“I love my school,” she said.

Alena recently wrapped up a season of Rotary basketball, during which her fees were paid for by a community member. She says she’ll soon start ice hockey, and Robert is looking forward to wrestling season.

“We try to keep the kids active, keep them involved in different activities ... so they have normalcy in their lives,” Cinda said.

She and Will also emphasize the importance of family; Saturdays are always family days.

No one does homework that day. When the weather is nice, they go for walks or hikes; sometimes they visit an aquarium shop or go ice skating.

“We’re always together on family day,” Cinda said. “We’re trying to still give them a normal life.”

The family stayed at Samaritan House for two months, living in a cramped apartment hardly big enough for the four of them. The front room — a living room, dining room and kitchen rolled into one — had little space left for the family to move around. They tried to sit as much as possible to avoid tripping over each other, Cinda said.

A tiny bedroom had enough room for a dresser, a bed for Cinda and William and bunk beds for the kids.

“We’re going to be lost when we get to the new house. There’ll be too much room,” Cinda said during an interview in early November.

There were other downsides to the shelter, according to Robert.

“We’re not allowed to be away from our parents,” he said. “We don’t get to go outside and play.”

Despite the issues with the shelter, the family was grateful that Samaritan House took them in.

“It’s either this or the streets. You do what you can for your family,” William said.

“It’s normal. It’s the same life as everybody else. We just live in a smaller area,” Cinda said. “We’re just making it work.”

Even the kids admitted there were good things about Samaritan House. The shelter provided them with food and clothes, Robert said. “We get all this stuff for free.”

Robert and Alena also received “video games and stuff I don’t even need,” he added. “And like my dad said, we’re not on the streets. They’re keeping a roof over our head.”

He paused for a moment. “I wish I could be helping other people the way they’ve been helping us.”

That, Cinda told him, is why she has been pursuing her degree in human services. She eventually hopes to be a caseworker with Child Protective Services so she can help other families in difficult situations.

Thanks to Pell Grants and student loans — and overdrawing the bank account when she re-enrolled after a brief hiatus — Cinda has been able to pursue her degree online through the University of Phoenix. She has about six months left of coursework.

This is her first experience with college; she married Robert and Alena’s father when she was 16. Cinda moved from the Flathead to Missoula to be with him and graduated from high school when Robert was 2 months old.

She didn’t want to leave her baby to go to school, so she decided to skip college.

But now, with her family struggling, she is determined to create a better life for them. It has been stressful, and her grades suffered when the family’s living situation was in flux. But in the end, it all will be worth it, Cinda said.

“The only way we’re going to survive is if I get a job and make enough money to support us,” she said.

William has been looking for work since the family moved to Kalispell but so far hasn’t had any luck. He would like a job in diesel mechanics — that’s what he did in Iraq — but he’ll take “any kind of job at this point,” he said. “If someone was willing to give [me] a chance, I’ll take a class or do whatever I have to do.”

“He wants to go to Iraq, but we desperately need him here,” Cinda said. “It’s sad that you have to go to work in another country to support your family in this one.”

It’s thanks to William that the family was able to secure its new house on Second Avenue East in Kalispell.

Housing is available to the veteran through Veterans Affairs and Housing and Urban Development. The family will pay very low rent, which will make the little income they have stretch further than it otherwise might.

Their income comes through Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, Cinda said. The program gives Cinda and the kids $504 a month; because William isn’t their biological father, he isn’t included.

That money goes quickly, between gas, the bill for their one cell phone and groceries, although they do use food stamps, Cinda said. Medicaid helps cover medical expenses, including Cinda’s weekly therapy appointments for her neck injury.

Soon William’s Social Security and disability payments through Veterans Affairs will start, Cinda said. When that happens, she will be covered along with William and no longer will be eligible for TANF, so she won’t be able to use Medicaid or food stamps.

It’s tempting to ignore her doctor’s orders and look for work, she said.

“I’m ready to go back to waiting tables. We need the money,” she said.

At least now the family is living under its own roof. The three-bedroom, one-bath house has room enough for all of them — and their dog. Dixie, their 3-pound Chihuahua, soon will move out of foster care and into the house with the family.

Robert already is looking forward to one day owning a freshwater shark — although his mother cautioned him that such a pet won’t be possible for a long while.

“I’m saying we won’t be poor forever. I promise,” Cinda told him.

“We probably will be poor forever, though,” Robert said softly.

“Robert worries a lot about bills. He’s always saying, ‘No, don’t buy that. We can’t afford it,’” Cinda explained.

Before his mother met William, Robert was the man of the house, she said. “He kind of stresses about grown-up stuff. He doesn’t get a chance to be a kid.”

“It’s kind of hard to be a kid when you’re here and you can’t really do nothing,” Robert told her. “Before [William] was there, I always took care of everybody. That’s why I worry about things.’”

“You did [take care of everybody],” Cinda agreed. “You were very helpful.”

“Was I helpful?” Alena asked hopefully.

Cinda smiled. “Yes. Just your cuteness helps me out. It helps me feel better.”

Reporter Kristi Albertson may be reached at 758-4438 or at kalbertson@dailyinterlake.com.