Tamarack Grief Resource Center expands programs, services

After her husband died in 2008, Cinnamon Hall contemplated how to help her two young sons deal with the loss of their father. She found guidance - and open arms - through Tamarack Grief Resource Center.

Hall, of Kalispell, enrolled her sons, now ages 7 and 10, in Tamarack's flagship program, A Camp to Remember. The children's camp blends traditional fun activities with chances to honor and remember their loved one who has died.

She knew she had tapped into the right resource when her older son confided: "Mom, the thing I like about going to camp is I have a place where everybody understands me and lets me be who I am."

Hall's younger son, just 6 when he first attended the grief camp, caught the attention of Tamarack Grief Resource Center Executive Director Tina Barrett last summer when she saw him and a friend tossing pebbles into Flathead Lake as they spent time with their mentor. Hall's son explained what they were doing:

"See how when I toss this little rock in the water it makes ripples? Those ripples fill the bay, then fill the lake, then fill Montana, then fill the universe and everywhere. I can put my love into this little rock and toss it in the lake, and pretty soon my love will fill the bay, and fill the lake and fill Montana, and fill the universe, and pretty soon get to my Dad."

Because grief support for children and families is limited in Montana, the Missoula-based Tamarack Grief Resource Center has now expanded to all of Western Montana and has a Flathead office at 17 Second St. E. Suit 208 in Kalispell. Carrie Thiel is the Flathead program coordinator.

Tamarack's programs stretch back 15 years, but in March 2008 the organization formally organized and filed for nonprofit tax-exemption status.

"We've expanded as people grew with us," said Jim Parker, associate director. "Teens [who have used Tamarack's programs] are growing up and seeing the strengths our support programs.

"Grief is not an isolated occurrence; it's a journey that goes along with us," Parker said.

Tamarack currently serves more than 1,100 children, teens, adults and professionals annually in grief support and education programs. As much as possible, services are provided regardless of people's ability to pay, so the nonprofit organization is ever mindful of the importance of community support.

Growth of the organization has been brisk, with an 82 percent increase in participation last year.

"One of the most underserved groups is men," Parker noted. "As a guy, we're not schooled to open up emotionally. We're taught to be tough, not to cry ... but what we've recognized is the source of strength that can come from sharing emotions in a safe place."

Two years ago Hall signed up for one of Tamarack's women's retreats and brought her mother with. Her mother also had struggled with some losses, and Hall found the experience a chance to "bond and share time together.

"The thing I like about Tamarack is you're able to remember and honor them [loved ones who have passed] versus putting it away on a shelf," Hall said.

In addition to the summer camps, Hall sought help from Tamarack's after-school program for her sons. Counselors worked with the boys for six weeks, a couple of hours a day.

Her husband, Dale, died in December 2008 at age 48 after struggling with auto-immune disease for 16 years.

"He was sick, but you didn't know it," she said, mentioning that he built an apartment over their garage just the year before he died. "He was a hunter, fisherman, pipefitter, general contractor, wildland firefighter."

Now a single mother, Hall also is a full-time student at Flathead Valley Community College, studying to become a registered nurse. One of her challenges is teaching her sons the values and skills they'll need as they grow into young men.

"I tell them, ‘I need you to help me stain the deck because you need to learn how to grow up to be young men,'" she said.

Tamarack Grief Resource Center, she said, has given her the emotional stamina she needs to carry on in her husband's absence.

"Tamarack has helped me realize I can do this on my own," Hall noted.

What she has especially valued about the organization is the unconditional love and sense of privacy instilled by the staff.

"You learn when you step into the Tamarack world that everybody lets you express yourself and they don't give you opinions," she said. "There's no right or wrong way. Tamarack is a place for people to listen and hold you strong."

Tamarack just wrapped up its last camp of the season, a teen camp on Flathead Lake, but the organization offers services year-round through support groups, trainings, community workshops and grief consultations. The organization also partners with hospices and hospitals for grief counseling.

"We try to create a year-round environment," said Barb Myers, a retired social worker and hospice volunteer who serves on the Tamarack board of directors.

For example, as children grow up, they can re-experience their loss, so they're welcome to continue their relationship with Tamarack. Re-entering school in the fall is often difficult for children who have suffered the loss of a parent - it sets them apart as different somehow, Parker said, explaining that it's not uncommon for those children to want to hurt themselves or get into trouble.

"The goal is to keep pushing out models that work, and build organizational strength," he said. "And people recognize this is a community issue."

For more information about Tamarack Grief Resource Center, go online to www. TamarackGriefResourceCenter.org or contact Flathead Program Director Carrie Thiel at 261-0724.

Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by email at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com.