A plea for equality: Kalispell native's video about partner's death goes viral

Just three days before President Obama’s historic declaration supporting same-sex marriage, a YouTube video posted by Kalispell native Shane Bitney Crone on that very issue was already on its way to going viral.

The tear-jerking 10-minute video, “It Could Happen to You,” details Crone’s six-year relationship with his partner, Tom Bridegroom, who accidentally fell from a Los Angeles rooftop during a photo shoot a year ago and died.

The emotional video explains the difficulties Crone, 26, faced in the aftermath of his partner’s death. Although they owned a social media consulting business and a home together, the two men had no will, and Crone was unable to get information from the hospital in the aftermath of the accident.

He was threatened with physical violence by Bridegroom’s family — who never accepted their son was gay — if he dared to attend his partner’s funeral in Indiana.

The rejection from Bridegroom’s family following his partner’s death may have been the impetus for taking a public stand in favor of same-sex marriage. In the video he pleads with viewers to take a stand for equality and promote tolerance.

“I can’t just stand back any more,” Crone says. “Maybe that’s why this all happened ... I just don’t know if people will listen ... I guess no one will listen if I don’t talk ... so I’m talking.”

The message has hit home with viewers around the world. More than 1.6 million people have watched the YouTube video. The national and international news media are pouncing for interviews.

“It’s all mind-blowing. I never expected this,” Crone said in a telephone interview Friday with the Daily Inter Lake, shortly after finishing a TV interview with E! News. Friday morning he was featured on an Australian morning TV news show, and “Insider” is among the other TV shows that have told his compelling story.

“It’s difficult to comprehend it all, but the one thing I do feel is support from people all over the world,” he said.

Crone was worried about a negative backlash when he released the video on May 7, the one-year anniversary of the death of his partner. The positive feedback has been comforting.

“I’m getting so many emails from Montana, people in small towns who say this has changed their view of gay marriage,” he said.

That support extends to Crone’s own family members, who were accepting of his sexual orientation when he came out to them five years ago.

During a memorial service Crone held for his partner in Los Angeles, he noted how he “was lucky enough to have Tom by my side when I told my mom I was gay.

“She actually got the words out before I could even finish my sentence, and has been unbelievably supportive of both of us ever since. My entire family loved and respected Tom; even my 90-year-old great-grandmother [from Hot Springs] welcomed Tom into the family with open arms and thought he was a great guy, and my nieces always called him ‘Uncle Tom.’”

Crone’s mother, Cindy Bitney of Kalispell, said Friday that she’s extremely proud of her son.

“It takes an awful lot to do this,” she said about putting his personal story on YouTube for the whole world to see. “He wants equal rights for everyone. It’s heart-wrenching to [hear about] all those who haven’t had a voice” in situations like the one her son went through.

Both Bitney and Crone credited Laser School instructor Karen Jacobson for being an inspirational mentor to Crone, who graduated from Flathead High School in 2004.

“High school was not easy,” Crone admitted. “Karen is amazing. She was one of the most supportive people I had in my life. She encouraged me to challenge myself.”

Crone moved to Los Angeles after high school to be an actor, but after dabbling in the profession and even acting in a horror film in 2006, he switched to working in social media consulting. Bridegroom, who also acted (he was a host for MTV prior to his death) and worked as a model and musician, was his business partner.

In a poignant eulogy to his partner, Crone said that “more than anything I am grateful because our love and our strength as a couple allowed us to face our greatest fears.”

The couple had vowed to be married as soon as it was legally possible. But in the end Crone said he was considered a “mere roommate.” He ponders in the video how different things would have been if he had been recognized as Bridegroom’s legal partner.

Crone said he will take his message to anyone who will listen.

“I’m just trying to take one breath at a time and digest what’s happening,” he added.

Crone’s YouTube video can be seen at www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

Features editor Lynnette Hintze may be reached at 758-4421 or by email at lhintze@dailyinterlake.com.