Giving back - Your helping hand can make a difference

I do not know anyone who does not have sympathy for others in need… I guess age causes me to look around me even more often than I have in past years, or I get that uncomfortable feeling more often now in my stomach when I scrape that last bit of food I could not finish into the trash and I realize my empathy level is on the surface, perhaps I should not have been so busy when younger.

No matter the personal problems, and we have all said this, or heard this… “If every single person, even those who have only a little, would give to those who have nothing, we would not be talking today about starving children, children who will not experience the beauty of having their own Christmas tree, or food in their tummy at least three times a day.”

There is always someone who would appreciate being given a helping hand in their lives…

I am suggesting that all of us and not just during the holiday season, but throughout the year, become a consistent, anonymous sponsor to as many as is possible… That is how we will begin to see the world and its frustrations and anger change for the good… one person at a time doing what they can one person at a time. Idealistic? Perhaps. However, maybe it is time to take a harder look at ideals!

Unless you have experienced only having enough money to purchase your children’s clothes at garage sales, or the thrift store, or gone without a meal occasionally, the empathy to “feel” their pain might escape you and you will then miss the opportunity to offer your hand to someone in need… Like those holding up a sign asking for help… We say, “Some of them are just cons…” Let God discern which of them are cons. That is not our responsibility… Some have diminished pride and are obviously desperate for help. Opportunity does not always knock twice. God said, “some are angels in disguise.” We cannot know which of them might indeed be an angel in disguise… God will take care of the con and will bless the giver.

I was 16 years old visiting my married older sister in Whitefish, she had gone to take care of an errand and I was alone. Someone knocked at the back door, and when I opened the door a very old, raggedy looking man, with unkept long grey hair and beard, only a little taller than my 5-foot-2 stature stood before me. He had, it appeared to me, an almost empty burlap bag, the top tied with a rope, dangling from one hand… In retrospect, an image not unlike a Norman Rockwell photograph.  

At first I was a bit frightened, and then he said, “I have nothing. Can you offer me anything?” His voice was low, but he had a gentle, or kind way of speaking, which made me feel just a tad more comfortable.  It wasn’t my home. My sister and her husband were struggling themselves with a brand new baby to care for. I didn’t know if it was my place to take from their cupboard and I didn’t have a dime in my purse. Had it been my home I know I would have filled his bag from our cupboard and I probably would have been kindly scolded for giving a bit too much, as was my nature according to my Mother… But at that moment, in my sisters’ home, I didn’t know what to do, so I apologized to him and he politely said, “Thank you anyway.”

I have never forgotten that old man. I swear almost 50 years have passed and I can see his expression, the intensity of his eyes and the color of his beard and I understand now what I should have done… open a cupboard or two, something was better than nothing and that day has compelled me to not miss an opportunity again, because again in retrospect, I do think he could have been an angel in disguise.

Sit outside the food bank, or Salvation Army, for half an hour and you will see how great the need is in our communities… I shudder when I consider someone sleeping outside in the elements, huddled somewhere in a corner, out of sight, trying to feel safe, waking often because they are cold to the bone…

Perhaps we can all just do the best we can individually, even a smile when we see frustration, or, a hand when someone is struggling with a task would probably be a most welcome extension of kindness…

When you are able, do not miss the opportunity to extend your hand when you see someone is short a few dollars at the checkout stand. Don’t offer, just hand the clerk what is needed… Every so often throughout your day, every day, reach down and pick up a starfish and toss it back into the ocean! Like the little boy said in the story of the starfish, “It makes a difference to him!”

Stern is a resident of Kalispell.