Hey, the (expletive) cops can hear you!

An open phone connection to 911 brought a response from the Kalispell Police Department after the dispatcher could hear at least two men and a woman, with one saying to “get the (expletive) cops over here” and another saying “I’ll kick his (expletive) out,” followed shortly by “he hit me first.” A man was arrested as a result of the disagreement, apparently between a man, his stepfather and his mother.

A handicapped motorist reported someone had keyed his or her vehicle in a Hutton Ranch Road parking lot, perhaps thinking the car was parked illegally in a handicapped spot. The owner said the vehicle had a handicapped sticker on the rear-view mirror.

A man previously involved in a vehicle accident was cited and released after being located on South Cedar Drive.

A boy rolled an all-terrain vehicle on Airport Road, but was uninjured.

A person reported a stash of drugs, possibly marijuana, on the campus of a school.

A man stole an expensive headset from a Hutton Ranch Road store.

A cell phone was stolen from a locker at a school.

Medication was stolen from a Sixth Avenue West North home.

A man contacted the Flathead County Sheriff’s Office after receiving a call from what he believed to be a drunk scam artist asking for money for the sheriff’s office to buy bulletproof vests and GPS equipment. The person turned out to be contracted by the Flathead County Sheriff’s Posse to solicit donations for the equipment.

A pair of sneaky teenagers was seen driving away from a post office on Pleasant Valley Road in Marion on a four-wheeler shortly after a resident walked in and noticed the building smelled like marijuana.

A tenant who decided to go all out against her landlord reported she had witnessed him taking her furniture, and that she had already taken him to civil court but wanted criminal theft charges filed as well.

A Kalispell woman reported her ex-husband asked if he could claim her two daughters so he could get more food stamps. She said she had been advised by an attorney to make a report any time she felt he was doing something stupid.

A brazen drunk driver was reported after sharing with a Glacier National Park dispatcher that she had been drinking before driving off down Blankenship Road.

A woman found a torn-up keno machine in a field near River Butte Drive while riding her horse. She said the machine seemed to have been there since before the winter.

A Somers mother found her daughter’s drugs and requested a deputy come pick the stash up. The daughter, who was unaware her mother had called law enforcement, left before a deputy arrived.

An observant passerby found a bloody napkin and a bunch of hypodermic needles in the area of Riverside Drive.

A drunk-sounding man reported someone impersonating a police officer, but the phone went dead and return calls went to voicemail.

A very drunk man reported a man staying in the room next door to him punched him before running back to his own room. No one wanted to pursue charges.

A man was reported laying on the ground talking to people in the area of East Reserve Drive.

A probationer was arrested after being found in possession of a gun on U.S. 93 North.

A man was seen in a vehicle on Farm to Market Road, holding a gun up to the window and saying “bring it on,” before driving off.

A White Basin Road man reported someone dumped crankcase oil and diesel fuel on his property.

A deputy picked up a marijuana pipe from the county weed department on FFA Drive.

A Kindle was stolen from a vehicle on Poplar Place in Whitefish.

A Kelley Road barn was burglarized in Columbia Falls.

A pair of extreme backyard sports enthusiasts were reported to the Whitefish Police Department when one was seen on a motorcycle pulling the other on a skateboard in a Baker Avenue grocery store parking lot. They were advised of city ordinances and moved along.

A child with a love of heights and possibly ninjas was reported to the Columbia Falls Police Department, having been seen on the very peak of the roof of a Ninth Street West church, wearing black pants and a black sweatshirt. The next time he was seen, his mother had him in tow.

A shoplifter who just couldn’t stay away from the Ninth Street West store where he had committed his crime was cited and released after being seen returning to the store.

A drunk, uncooperative woman was reported for walking into a Ninth Street West hotel to use the phone, saying her boyfriend was beating her, then screaming and yelling.