'If football were politics' - and other opium dreams

If the Super Bowl were what the average Washington pundit thinks politics is supposed to be, then we would have spent the past two weeks reading about how the two opposing teams were looking forward to working together for the common good in today’s game.

Just as we are constantly being told to yearn for an era of post-partisan compromise in D.C., our football pundits would be talking about the need for ending the heated rivalries and bringing about an era of cooperation on the field of play!

But the chances of truly principled Republicans and Democrats seeing eye to eye about how to score a touchdown on illegal immigration or economic policy is almost as remote as the likelihood that we will see Peyton Manning going easy on the Seahawks in the Super Bowl later today.

And you know the Seahawks aren’t going to go easy on Peyton and his receivers! Let the shootout begin!

But of course that is football, and politics is supposed to be altogether more civilized (at least ever since the pistol duel was outlawed!), so in the spirit of that kinder and gentler nation we all know will emerge as soon as the Tea Party patriots are silenced by IRS audits, NSA wiretaps and, if necessary, police dogs, I want to acknowledge publicly that President Obama unexpectedly got it right last week — big time.

No, no, no, not the State of the Union speech. Don’t be ridiculous. Despite the kumbaya “opium dreams” of a world where Harry Reid and John Boehner get high together and skip through a field of poppies hand in hand while singing “Wonderful World,” politics is not just happy thoughts. It is telling the hard truth about cussed human nature, and not giving in to easy answers that will lead us ever further astray. And when it comes to national policy, President Obama seems to have no shortage of easy answers.

But when it comes to sports, however, the president seems to have a pretty keen insight. He showed signs of true greatness this week when he taped an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper and offered his take on the Richard Sherman controversy.

Sherman joined the ranks of the great American showmen in the minutes after the NFL Championship Game two weeks ago when he ranted to Fox’s Erin Andrews about his own prowess as “the best cornerback in the game” after tipping a ball intended for 49er receiver Michael Crabtree and causing a game-ending interception that punched the Seahawk ticket to the Super Bowl.

Sure, it was a bit over the top when Sherman dissed Crabtree as a “sorry receiver,” but it was a bit unsportsmanlike for Crabtree to shove Sherman at the end of the game when Sherman approached him to shake hands. And if Sherman is not noted for holding his tongue, neither is Crabtree noted for his humility. I can only imagine what choice words that Crabtree had uttered to Sherman when the two were off camera and out of mike range earlier in the game.

But I digress. This is supposed to be about my new favorite sports analyst — Barack Obama. The president, who has long shared his deep love and fascination with all sports, was straight dead-on accurate in his commentary about Sherman.

First deftly sidestepping Tapper’s invitation to “go political” and comment on Sherman’s potentially incendiary comment that the harsh reaction to his rant had been racist, President Obama instead praised Sherman as a player, as a role model, and as a “very smart guy.” (Takes one to know one!)

That’s when it got interesting. Barack started channeling his inner Howard Cosell and trenchantly concluded that Sherman was “taking a page out of Muhammad Ali’s playbook which is (I think he’s said explicitly) this is a good way to get attention. In fact, Ali said he got his schtick from wrestlers he used to watch... so I think it’s part of that tradition of you know let me get some attention. Obviously it’s worked.”

Well said, Mr. President. An apt analogy, and all the proof I need that you missed your calling. The only question now is whether there is any reason for you to stick around the White House for another three years when we all know that nothing is going to get done anyway.

Think about it. There are lots of politicians who can do what you do, and do it better, but very few sports analysts who can match you stride for stride when you get in the open.

Mr. President, you’ve already got me on your side if you decide to follow your dream, and that’s saying something.

In fact, the only thing left to say is... GO HAWKS!