LAW ROUNDUP: Damsel in distress turns out to be role-playing gamer

Someone reportedly heard a female crying and a male screaming “God, no, no, no,” on 10th Street West. The caller told Columbia Falls Police Department it sounded like a verbal argument and had been going on for 20 minutes. A male told police he was the only one at the residence and “changed his voice because he was playing a video game.”

Kalispell Police Department responded to a complaint by someone on Fifth Avenue West who said a man was repeatedly telling him or her that he was going to burn the place down.

Someone was concerned about a man who was “slouched over,” possibly napping, in the heat.

An “agitated” and “somewhat disorderly” transient who was reportedly “sleeping on the ground near where kindergartners play” on Fifth Avenue West North was told to leave by officers.

A man on South Main Street was seen reportedly kicking a woman who was hunched over by a trash can. The pair were also said to be screaming at each other, but were gone when officers arrived to the scene.

Someone who was apparently part of the fashion police was suspicious of a man who was wearing “sweats” and a “hoodie” — clothes that “were way too hot for this time of year.” The man was allegedly “hanging around the kids’ section” of the library. An employee said the suspicions were unfounded and she knew the man, who was there to pick up his sister.

A pastor said he reportedly received a call from a man who said he left marijuana on a bus and wanted it back. The pastor went down to the bus and allegedly found a bag containing a cigar filled with marijuana and wanted police to pick it up.

Four bicycles were reported stolen on South Main Street. Two of the bicycles were taken by a tattooed man and woman.

A woman on First Avenue East said she saw a man “throw” an infant into his car. Officers contacted the man who allegedly admitted to having a verbal argument and that the “kid is fine.”

A man in a black van was spotted reportedly chasing a woman on a bicycle on East Idaho Street. Another call came in later when the van was spotted on Second Avenue East North. Someone who said a vehicle had pulled up behind the van and people were moving belongings from the van into the vehicle.

Apparently vans make people nervous. Police received a report from an employee on West Idaho Street that a gold minivan with about four to five people inside was “hanging out” in an alley. The employee was uncomfortable because “they have been having problems with people doing drugs in the parking lot.”

Another report of a van — or possibly a Suburban — said the vehicle was idling with its parking lights on “in the darkest part of the street” on (you guessed it) Second Avenue East North. The man told police his vehicle broke down and he would try to have it moved in the morning.

Someone yelled at two people carrying boxes of items from a thrift store on East Idaho Street to tell them to put the items back. Instead, the woman and man said “they are needing something to sleep” on and would bring the items back in the morning.

A Greatview Drive resident didn’t take kindly to rowdy neighbors who were having a party and were “rolling around on the ground yelling and screaming.” The resident said the revelers were throwing things at his or her door and cussing . The neighbor added that the house “always smells like pot,” and there was allegedly underage drinking.

Someone was concerned about squatters and human waste on the end of Texas Avenue after a vehicle had allegedly been parked there for a week. Whitefish Police Department responded and told a man to move along.

A passerby on Central Avenue told police a panhandler became belligerent and swore at people who didn’t give him money.

An 87-year-old woman was told she was not welcome at a grocery store on U.S. 93 South after she was reportedly caught shoplifting. It wasn’t the first time, according to the store manager.