TERRY COLUMN: Everything I know isn't all that much

“What am I doing wrong?”

I didn’t know how to answer the question.

It came about 12 holes in on a 90-degree day at Glacier View Golf Club this weekend. Thoroughly sweat through, and a few hours into some significant work on my farmer’s tan, my girlfriend was looking for pointers on her swing.

She decided to pick the game back up this spring and has slowly started to ease her way onto the course. Fittingly, when she needs help, like she did in this weekend, she turns to me.

The problem is I barely know how to fix what I’m doing wrong.

I’ve worked the better part of 20 years to get down to an 18 handicap. When she asked me for help, I was chasing down the fifth ball that I played off a tree that round.

I’m not a professional. I’ve never had a formal lesson.

Despite years around the game, the best advice I’ve received as a golfer has often been hastily barked tropes like, “Keep your head down,” “Keep your arm straight,” or “Are you aiming at the water?”

The first few times we hit the driving range I tried to pass along those nuggets. But I realized pretty quickly it’s not very helpful for a beginner golfer just trying to hone in making contact with the ball.

So early on, rather than bog her down with a million little tips and tricks, I made sure she would at least know the basics of etiquette and where to point her feet.

We went to the putt-putt course before playing a full 18 just to get down some basics. I figured putting is the easy part. Not a lot of movement, not a lot of distance, back and forth.

I was quickly reminded of my inability to hit putts uphill, especially with an obstacle course in the way. I instead abandoned any plans on teaching so I could narrowly eke out a three-stroke victory thanks to some well-placed boulders.

Our foray onto the big course started ominously. I nearly played my opening drive off the roof of a neighboring house and didn’t start straightening out my swings until a chance to cool off and rehydrate at the turn.

Still, with all the evidence leading her from doing so, or because I was the only one within earshot, she asked for my help. Using her 7-iron for most of the outing, she was wondering why some of her shots flew like they were designed and others rolled feebly on the ground, taunting her for being a novice.

It could’ve been a million things. She was standing too far away, moving her feet, rolling her wrists, lifting her head. I didn’t know if it was one or all of them.

So, I told her I didn’t know. Try to keep one thing the same and change something else. If that works keep doing that and tweak something else.

Keep tweaking. Eventually everything will start to look mostly like it should.

Then blame your clubs.