'An open letter to my children during presidential campaign'

Dear kids: It’s a great time of year. Montana’s autumn is breathtaking! We’ve enjoyed our first good snowfall. And you’re well into a new school year, learning the skills you’ll use to inherit and then take care of this beautiful world.

This year is special, an election year, when we choose an esteemed leader for our nation and our world. As your dad, I want you to learn about our democracy. Some day you might seek elected office, to serve our country’s people, and to tend its natural treasures. In this country, that sort of dream can come true.

At 10 years old, my bright girl, you’re old enough to learn much from this presidential campaign. Watch closely, and you should be able to see qualities that define a leader, and begin to look for them in yourself. This campaign should show what your future might hold. It should illustrate the boundless possibility promised for Americans of every gender, orientation, ethnicity, age, spiritual inclination, culture and tradition.

And you, my golden boy … At 7 years, you’re old enough to see how a presidential candidate looks and behaves. You should hear measured wisdom in her/his voice. You can imitate the generous and egalitarian manner with which a presidential candidate relates to others, refers to others, and values others. Those good manners we’re trying so hard to teach you are surely embodied in a candidate for American president.

We’ve looked forward to including you both in family considerations of these two major presidential candidates, and in viewing their public debates. What a rare opportunity, this campaign, for you to learn about leadership, possibility, and democracy!

Now we’re in the midst of the campaign. I want you to know, darling girl, that this man who aspires to presidential leadership, who assesses and discusses and demeans women (women like you soon will be) mainly according to their bodily appearance, is no legitimate leader. This candidate’s boasts of non-consensual sexual contact, (i.e., of assault), are not presidential; they’re foul. His actions and behavior demean you and me and all of us.

And I tell you truly, though I’ve spent years in and out of locker rooms, I NEVER hear there the derogatory and insulting language that this candidate and his defenders casually call “locker-room banter.” Despite what his campaign claims, grown men (like me, like your grandfathers, like your friends’ fathers, like your male teachers, like future boyfriends or bosses or husbands) do not, and MUST not, “talk like that.” Men that do are broken, abusive and dangerous. Don’t trust them. Don’t believe them. Don’t let them define you, your life, or your potential.

And for you, my beautiful son, please do NOT emulate this man. He is no role model for you. In particular, his demeanor toward women (and others), his condescending sexist and racist language, his sexually assaultive behavior, and his deceit must never be acceptable to you. I promise to fill your world with legitimate mentors, and I challenge you to be a defender (not an oppressor) of others and a champion of equality.

Remember, dear children, that your mother and I love you. We love you so much that you’ll never see us accept the condescending behavior of this presidential candidate. We promise not to be silent if we see it, especially from the bully pulpits of leadership. People, and this country, are better than that. Democracy is better than that. Above all, you are better than that. With fatherly love ...

Kendall Flint is a resident of East Glacier.