LETTER: Open letter to the Beautiful People

Deplorable here. We need a divorce. Ah, we finally agree on something! Those Beautiful People trapped within Deplorable territory (Missoula, etc.) will be given a complimentary U-Haul One-Way moving truck. Offer expires on Inauguration Day. 

Here’s the deal. You keep everything east of the Mississippi. We’ll throw in California, Hollywood, even Barbra Streisand. We keep the Heartland. You keep your glow-in-dark fish; we’ll keep our beef and grain. You keep your government schools and 501(c)3 government churches; we’ll keep our home-schools and home-churches. You keep your nuclear power plants; we’ll keep our nuclear missiles. Lastly, you keep your gun controls, and we’ll keep our guns. 

If looking across the border at large happy God-fearing families just enjoying life is too painful, I have a suggestion. “Build a Wall.” God bless. —Roger Dwyer, Kila