Gather 'round, drunk man tells his tale

Although “dead men tell no tales,” drunken men, unfortunately, do. A man who sounded “highly intoxicated” called Kalispell Police Department and said he reportedly got into a fight with someone at a bar and was defending himself. The man, who wasn’t making much sense, said the bartender possibly kicked him out and that “he’d will be waiting by the old Pizza Hut.” He then said people were coming out of the bar, but didn’t know if they were the ones he allegedly defended himself against. The man told dispatchers that he “just wanted to tell his tale.”

A man on Two Mile Drive was probably just suffering from a bruised ego rather than “head trauma” when he wanted medical professionals to check on him after his girlfriend allegedly slapped him in the face. He supposedly “got in her face” when she confronted him about sneaking off to a bar. Both were reportedly highly intoxicated. The man didn’t have redness or swelling from the slap and medics couldn’t do much. The man told police he didn’t want to pursue charges and that they loved each other. The pair agreed to separate for the night.

A man and woman were reportedly involved in fisticuffs in a parking lot according to an employee who was apprised of the situation by an employee.

Someone claiming to be following a drunk driver said the vehicle went into the middle of the highway, was swerving and drove through a red light at North Meridian and U.S. 93 before pulling into the parking lot of a fitness center. The parked vehicle was located, but unoccupied.

A man, who brought his canine companion to a work site, was cautioned about having a dog at large after the blue heeler was allegedly dognapped. He called police when coworkers saw someone pull up and take the dog even though they reportedly told the person that the dog, which didn’t have a collar, belonged there. Police made contact with the alleged dognapper who claimed they thought it was a stray. The dog was returned to its owner.

A parent told police her daughter called saying that her 13-year-old boys were “in a rage” and could hear a lot of yelling, but wasn’t certain what they were doing, only that “they are notorious for throwing things around and kicking the walls.” The parent requested an officer could check it out and make sure she was OK. The boys were reportedly having a “brotherly disagreement” and knocked over furniture, but had calmed down by the time police arrived. The woman was OK and her wily teens agreed to pick up the house.

A different call came in from someone with “a couple of sons” who were reportedly “continuously fighting over nonsense things,” such as video games and wanted to ask an officer some questions.

A bank employee reported a man wrote fraudulent checks totaling $12,000.

A school principal requested an officer pick up a vial containing “some type of white stuff” that a student found.

A woman allegedly refused to return a moving company’s two trucks and a trailer.

A floral printed backpack raised suspicions of restaurant staff after it had been sitting there a couple of hours.

A man was reportedly pushed to the ground by another man on Airport Road. Alcohol was likely involved.

A hotel employee called police after an attempt to get an intoxicated man back to his room after he allegedly was walking around the premises yelling at no one, proved fruitless. Eventually, the man returned to his room, but continued to be noisy.

Officers were unable to locate a vehicle that may have been involved in a DUI when someone called to report a gold sedan had mowed down some mailboxes, stopped, and someone got out of the vehicle and then got back in and left. The vehicle also downed a stop sign on Willow Glen and Woodland Avenue.

A woman came into the police department lobby saying water was allegedly “gushing out” near a car wash on U.S. 2 causing the road to be icy, which purportedly caused her vehicle to slide. Apparently, it was water running off of vehicles leaving the car wash.

Someone on Appleway Drive was concerned that a man was psychologically abusing two children that lived in an apartment when they allegedly heard him screaming and yelling. No one answered the door and everything was quiet by the time police arrived.

A woman was holiday shopping at a vintage store on Main Street when she was approached by an older man who questioned her about the shirt she was wearing under her coat and proceeded to inappropriately grasp the shirt and wrongly accuse her of shoplifting. She said it was her own shirt and she had worn it all day. She then took out her phone and said she had photos wearing the shirt, to which the man alleged he saw her take photos in the store. Infuriated, she scrolled through several photos wearing the shirt in different locations and different times of the day before storming out to find a policeman to report the upsetting incident.

An man who had tool trailers at a construction site near another business was concerned that an old camper, which showed up nearby, could potentially be squatters although he didn’t know if they had permission to be on the lot or not. Police advised him to let the business owner know about the situation and they could tell the trailer occupants to leave the property.

A man on Wishart Road in Columbia Falls called Flathead County Sheriff’s Office with follow-up information and suspect information on the theft of his four-wheeler. He reportedly said the suspects were all armed and were selling “a bunch of dope” from a crack house they were staying in.

A man on Airport Road in Kalispell claimed to call deputies on his girlfriend’s behalf after noticing some things moved around in her home over the last couple of days and the door appeared to have been forcibly open. Nothing was missing and he said she did not wish to call law enforcement and request extra patrol. He added that his girlfriend “thought it was weird because she went to bed and when she woke up the kitchen light was on.”

A dark brown horse was seen gallivanting in the roadway on Foys Lake Road in Kalispell. The owner was contacted.

A woman on First Avenue in Columbia Falls reportedly kicked two dogs that were attacking her dog.

Someone U.S. 93 in Kalispell wanted deputies to check on a woman and a minivan on the side of the road with a box on top that read, “he kicked me out.” The woman apparently did not want law enforcement assistance.

Someone on Boon Road in Somers claimed to be the subject of repeated road rage reporting a white pickup with “a bunch of s--- in the back of it” allegedly tried to run their vehicle off the road for the second time this month.

A man on Rose Crossing said he heard someone snooping in his garage and when he went out to investigate he reportedly saw someone running with a flashlight or cell phone in their hand and wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt. The man said he called in a similar event last week, “but this time it actually happened.”

A woman on Dawn Drive in Columbia Falls told deputies she was selling a bed online and reportedly incurred $2,000 in fees when the check a buyer sent bounced. The check had allegedly been written for more than the purchase amount allegedly to help pay for a moving company.

A Kalispell woman was being harassed by her ex’s girlfriend who was allegedly stalking her and taking pictures of her and her children.

Someone on Lake Blaine Road said drug paraphernalia — a lighter, container and “pot pipe,” had been turned in to a concession stand.

A bar patron on U.S. 2 in Columbia Falls followed a man, who was allegedly carrying a “really large” knife in his back pocket, outside where he popped the hood of his vehicle and took something out. The man went back into the bar and confronted the patron about following him. The man supposedly left his knife in the vehicle after someone else asked him to do so. The patron thought it was suspicious the man didn’t remove his hoodie and thought a drug deal was going down.