Whitefish's Gorian connects with younger students

Grayson Gorian exudes all the qualities of a good mentor — she’s compassionate, open-minded, good-natured and laid-back.

This is the Whitefish High School senior’s second year participating in the Muldown Mentors program. Muldown Assistant Principal John Coyne noted the extra effort Gorian puts into the mentoring program.

“She’s amazing, probably the most dependable and dedicated of the group,” Coyne said. “She comes up with ideas on her own on how to work with kids.”

Muldown Mentors is a program where Whitefish High School students are paired with kindergarten through fourth-graders. Muldown teachers refer students who may benefit from the extra attention outside the classroom.

Mentors meet with elementary students on Tuesdays and Fridays for about 30 minutes.

“It’s pretty flexible right now,” Coyne said on how the time is spent. “The little one might have ideas, or bring games to play, or a mentor may be more of a support maybe socially or behaviorally — whatever they need.”

Gorian has a knack for picking up on what a student needs, according to Coyne.

“Grayson is so intuitive and compassionate and loves working with these kids,” he said.

Gorian said the connections she has made with the kindergarteners and first-graders she has mentored have all been different.

“I always just like to feel that situation out,” Gorian said about deciding on how to spend time with the elementary students, noting that some teachers provide ideas.

Gorian said consistency was key to relieving some pressure one student was feeling. They’d start out with a reading game, then walk around the school, followed by checking out the Muldown joke of the week and wrapping up by talking about the student’s day. For another student, the focus was on playing math and reading games or fun activities like stamping.

As a mentor, Gorian also tried to instill values that aren’t learned from a textbook, such as confidence.

“One thing that I’ve been really working on is making sure that the kids are confident with the people that they are and they don’t define their self-worth off of how well they can read, or how good they are at math,” Gorian said.

Gorian said she believes that everyone struggles with confidence at some point in their life. In middle school, Gorian said she thought it was important to compare grades and scores as a measure of self-esteem. Eventually, she learned the difference between self-esteem and self-compassion.

“Self-esteem is seeing your accomplishments and using that for your confidence, but self-compassion is being confident nonetheless,” Gorian said. “I think my whole life I’ve gotten that wrong and gone the self-esteem route rather than self-compassion.”

These are ideas she has carried through to her role as a volunteer facilitator in Whitefish School District’s Student Assistance Program. The program is made up of confidential groups that meet weekly to discuss a topic, ask questions and share how his or her week has gone.

“It’s not group therapy. It’s an opportunity to reach out, join a group, share how your week is. Every group has a focus, we’ll cover forgiveness and defenses,” she said.

She recounted the Student Assistance Program as the first volunteering experience she “really dove headfirst into,” naming former school district psychologist Robin Bissell as a big influence.

“It’s one of my favorite things I’ve done in my life,” Gorian said, who has been part of the program since eighth grade.

Special services high school teacher Christian Bitterauf serves as a co-facilitator with Gorian for one of the groups. It takes a certain quality to become a facilitator, according to Bitterauf.

“We look for students who are very honest. Integrity is important for those programs and she’s obviously very intelligent and very open,” Bitterauf said. “She’s willing to share things she’s struggling with — always a great trait to build empathy with the group — what they’re going through, we’re all going through it.”

Bitterauf said high school students have a lot to contribute as they learn and develop into roles as mentors or leaders.

“I think high school students can forget that how impactful they are, and their natural leadership skills — how big of a role model they can be for children,” Bitterauf said.

He said that the seniors participating in the Student Assistance Program are “getting some clarity on what’s ending and what’s beginning,” in their lives.

This holds true for Gorian. While she will be attending Montana State University, she is split on what she wants to do as a profession.

“I think I’m going to study biology and I either want to go to med school or be a speech pathologist. I’m not really sure I just want to do something related to health science, for sure,” Gorian said.

With graduation Saturday, Gorian contemplated what impact she’s made on the people she has mentored.

“I hope I’ve just made the impression, I guess, be a kind person and honor yourself and what you do. Be a kind and confident human being,” Gorian said.

Reporter Hilary Matheson may be reached at 758-4431 or hmatheson@dailyinterlake.com.