Funeral homes, families challenged by virus restrictions

Death and grief are parts of life funeral home directors deal with every day, but they have never dealt with a situation like the COVID-19 outbreak.

As social distancing and travel restrictions have separated families and stopped public gatherings, funeral homes are working to find ways to honor the lives of those who have recently passed away and provide closure to their loved ones.

“It’s been difficult and emotional, of course,” said R. Lee Darlington, the director of Darlington Cremation and Burial Services in Kalispell.

He said end-of-life services are “emotional regardless of the situation, but the virus has added some anxiety.”

“It’s a painful time for people for sure,” said Troy Knutson, director of Austin Funeral and Cremation Services. “It’s easy to feel alone,” since the loved ones of the recently deceased are not allowed to congregate in large groups at funeral homes, places of worship or cemeteries.

Families and funeral directors are endeavoring to find creative ways to still celebrate their loved ones while keeping friends and family safe.

“Our valley and the citizens here are very resilient,” Darlington noted. “We’re going to adjust.”

He said a lot of families have opted to go through with immediate burial or cremation with extremely limited attendance, while planning for a larger celebration of life at a later date. Some families have also taken advantage of modern technology by live-streaming funerals or recording videos of the ceremony.

“There are a variety of responses,” Darlington observed.

Some people he has worked with are “using technology to their advantage,” he said.

“Young people who are so tech-savvy,” he noted. “Some grandchildren want to do that for their families so they can feel connected.”

Innovative technology is nothing new at Darlington, a funeral home with a new facility and state-of-the-art equipment for videos and other multimedia options to connect families and augment services.

“We, for a number of years, have had that ability, which is great for our community,” Darlington said.

While some families take the high-tech proceedings into their own hands, Darlington said the funeral home can also provide technology and digital services to families that want to use those options.

Austin Funeral and Cremation Services also offers online video streaming of funerals, video packages and arrangements that can be made completely virtually, without any person-to-person contact. Knutson said these options were already in place, “but they didn’t seem to be utilized” the way they have been since the outbreak hit the valley.

Knutson said they can put together online tributes and videos for families at no extra cost.

“It’s a good resource for people who don’t have the ability to get together,” he pointed out.

TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATIONS have helped funeral homes keep business running as normally as possible, and traditional practices for preparing bodies and performing cremations and burials are still being carried out as they would be under other circumstances. “It’s essentially business as usual,” Darlington stated. “Those practices continue.”

“We’re still taking care of the deceased,” Knutson added.

Darlington noted, “funeral homes are a fairly safe place to go” since they already have a lot of sanitary precautions in place due to the nature of their work.

He isn’t worried about business being affected because traditional funerals can’t be held during the outbreak, or the possibility of an overwhelming influx of funeral preparations when people are eventually allowed to gather once again.

“As a funeral professional, I’m not concerned about a funeral influx or meeting the demand,” he said. “As a human being, I think it’s just wonderful that we’re able to adjust and see the value of families being together. It’s not just, ‘forget about it, it’s not a big deal.’”

“I’m looking forward to those times when there’s going to be a lot of visitors,” he added.

Funeral professionals recommended people dealing with loss during these uncertain times make an effort to honor those who have passed, such as lighting a candle or taking time as a family to remember a deceased loved one. They also urge people to comfort those who have lost loved ones and not overlook their grief, despite the circumstances.

Knutson suggested, “reaching out and comforting those that are grieving. It’s not good for us to just ignore the pain they’re going through outside the fear and anxiety… To feel alone makes it even more difficult.”

“Be united as a family, stick together and recognize that this challenge is temporary,” Darlington advised. “There is value in every life. Everyone should be celebrated in some way. There is an appropriate way to do that. As professionals we stand ready to support families in any way they want.”

Reporter Bret Anne Serbin may be reached at (406)-758-4459 or bserbin@dailyinterlake.com.