Kalispell couple honored for foster-care work

Sam and Honey Newton never set out to be foster parents.

With seven biological children and one adopted child, the certified nurse-midwife and nurse practitioner with her own practice and her husband, an assistant criminal law professor, already had their hands full before taking in their first foster child six years ago. Now, they are being recognized by the state for their efforts to help lessen the burden for children in need.

The Newtons were among the parents, child protection workers, youth, and nonprofit organizations honored April 28 as part of a virtual awards ceremony at the annual Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect Conference sponsored by the Department of Public Health and Human Services.

Sam and Honey, along with Tracy and Cindy Gabbert of Glendive, were the co-recipients of the Jana Elliott Memorial Resource Parents of the Year, an award that goes to the foster/adoptive parents who are committed to excellence in working with birth parents and foster and adoptive children.

The award is named for Jana Elliott, who served the Wolf Point community as a licensed foster parent and sixth-grade teacher before tragically losing her life in a car accident while helping someone in need in 2016.

Having been nominated without her knowledge, Honey said she was very surprised to find out they had won the award.

“Honestly, I laughed when we got the call,” Honey said. “It was a hectic morning when we were struggling to get everyone where they were supposed to be, so it was a bit ironic. There are so many people around us quietly trying to do good every day. The real unsung heroes are the policemen and the case workers. They get yelled at from both sides while just trying to do their incredibly stressful jobs. They are the ones who should be receiving awards.”

For Kerri Brewer, the DPHHS Child and Family Services Division worker who nominated the Newtons, the family’s selection for the award comes as no surprise.

“When they see a need in the community, they rise to the occasion to meet the needs no matter what they might look like,” Brewer said in a press release last week. “Both are selfless and put the needs of others first. They live a life of service, and their passion for helping children and families is noticed by other resource families, staff, and community members.”

THE NEWTONS’ journey into the foster-care system began six years ago after they learned one of their son’s friends was living in his car. Sam and Honey never hesitated, bringing the young man into their home and beginning the process of becoming licensed foster parents.

Since that day, they have never said no to anyone who came to them in need, officially fostering six children while unofficially helping many more.

“It's definitely not something we ever set out to do or planned to do, but the need was there and we found it to be rewarding. We will just keep doing it until we don’t have the strength to,” Honey said. “Every kid deserves a loving family. If you just invest love and time in them, the most amazing healing can happen. Anyone can do it, you just have to be willing to be patient with a really broken system that is doing its best to help people.”

The Newtons’ next chance to help came with one of Honey’s patients, a special-needs teenager who became pregnant after being raped by her mother’s boyfriend, and was left with nowhere to go. Sam and Honey thought their days with diapers were done, but four months after taking the girl in, they once again had a baby in the house.

Even with all of the extra work, neither of them would have it any other way.

“It’s just an extra can of soup. You still have to make dinner just like always, you can just make more,” Sam said. “Sure, your life is more busy with foster kids but it is worth it. If you can help these kids work through the trauma they have endured, it is all worth it. Everyone needs and deserves love and stability.”

Both Sam and Honey say the work is worth it when they see the kids finally starting to be able to work through the trauma that has haunted them, many for most of their lives.

“It can take months or even years for some of these kids to even begin to deal with the trauma they have been through. It’s only after they feel safe that they can begin to work through things like abandonment, rejection and the pain of abuse,” Honey said. “If we don’t deal with that pain, it will repeat. That’s something we all have to deal with, not just foster children.”

“You know that you are making a difference when the kids can finally open up and talk with you about the struggles they are facing. It can take time to build trust and get to that place, but that is what it is all about,” Sam added.

WITH EIGHT children (five of their own, one adopted and two foster kids) living in the house at the moment, there were bound to be a few hiccups, but Sam and Honey say they strive to keep everyone positive and work through whatever obstacles come their way.

“We’ve had to learn how to help each kid feel special and get individual attention. We are not perfect at any of this, but we are doing the best we can,” Honey said.

They say that one of the most rewarding things to come out of the experience was to see how it changed the views some of their own children have toward the foster-care system. Their daughter, Ellowyn, 22, was not a fan of taking in more children while she was growing up in the household, but recently applied to a graduate program hoping to become a social worker. Her application included a stirring essay describing how being involved with foster care changed her life.

With the two foster children in their care hoping to find permanent homes soon, the Newtons will soon be ready to once again take on a new challenge or two and will continue to do so for as long as they can.

“Happiness is really about what you can give, not what you have or can take,” Sam said. “That’s why helping these kids gives us so much joy.”

Honey added, “We do it because we love it, we love the kids and it is the right thing to do. It’s not a sprint, but it is worth every minute. You have to focus on what is best for the kids and not have an agenda. It’s exciting to see what the future holds for these kids that at one point didn’t even really have a future.

“It’s a lot to keep up with, but there are only two months of the year where we don’t have a birthday to celebrate. That means more cake for everyone and there is always a party. It’s a grand adventure.”

Reporter Jeremy Weber may be reached at 758-4446 or jweber@dailyinterlake.com