Law roundup: Naked man takes one toke over the line

A naked man with a ponytail allegedly wandered outside an apartment building and walked around acting devastated. He told the responding Kalispell Police Department officer he was high on marijuana and accidentally walked outside au naturel. The officer counseled him about his behavior.

A woman reportedly assaulted an employee, poking them in the eye, and left in a white Nissan Altima with Washington license plates.

A man wearing a camo jacket went into a store and, to no one in particular, allegedly yelled profanities, about the Space Force and about how he had post-traumatic stress disorder, threatening death on whoever called the police on him. Police took him to the detention center for intimidation.

A busybody complained about two people standing on a corner holding signs. The informer was upset they stuck the signs in the grass and on an electrical box and pole, describing the action as “invasive” and “weird,” and asking officers to check on the pair. Police had driven by the pair earlier and were not bothering anyone or doing anything illegal.

A manager tried to move along a tall, thin man who was allegedly carving wood with a 6-inch knife and trying to sell the results to customers, but he seemed incoherent.

Someone submitted an online report about a jumping jack that was reportedly stolen from a work truck parked at an employee’s house. A neighbor reportedly saw a white GMC pickup with a lift kit parked and running near the home. The employee told officers they would check if any neighbors had cameras that caught the theft.

A man was allegedly being stalked by someone who broke into his vehicle and moved stuff around in a noticeable way. He was given a protection order packet to complete and return to the police.

Extra patrol was requested near an alleged transient camp where several pallets were set up in steel girders spanning the roadway. Food and personal items were found among the beams.