Valentines: The key to love from those who know it

Loreley and Fred McLaughlin met over 60 years ago while at a mutual friend’s house. The apartment was unfurnished, so they sat on pillows, drinking margaritas and having a good time.  

Fred entered, and Loreley, after a couple margaritas, couldn’t keep herself from blushing. Fred, showing up in a suit, joined the party for dessert; little did they both know that it was the start of the rest of their lives.  

That was in March of 1964, the couple reminisced while sitting in their shared room at The Springs at Whitefish. They were engaged by September and married in December.  

Sixty-years later, the secret to their love is simple — shared interests, patience and supporting each other through life’s frustrations.  

“I’m no authority for advice, if you find what you're looking for, stick with it,” Loreley, 84, said, sitting on the couch with Fred, who will be 86 in March.  

The couple, who moved into The Springs at the beginning of December, were crowned as The Springs’ king and queen for the Whitefish Winter Carnival this year. 

A key to finding your person, Loreley said, is to find someone who helps you through your feelings and supports you no matter what. Their shared love for dogs, she smiled, was also a plus.  

Through ups and downs, having your person with you makes life easier, Loreley said.  

DELPHINE AND James Freeman, who have been married for 51 years, echo that sentiment. Sitting at the Kalispell Senior Center on a chilly morning, Delphine reminisced on the importance of being a friend to your partner above all else. Couples will argue, she said, it's how you respond that matters.  

“You’ll have your issues, but you just have to work through it,” she said.  

Their wedding, over half a century ago, was at her grandmother’s home in the valley.  

James, reading a novel while Delphine sipped on hot coffee, smiled up at his wife, reminding her that they “got married twice,” remembering a vow renewal on their 20th wedding anniversary. 

Their favorite thing now is growing old together and possibly sharing Valentine’s Day candies.  

Love, like for the Freemans and the McLaughlins, is the foundation for building a life together, said Geraldine Young, a Flathead Valley local who was lucky enough to love twice.  

At the senior ball in high school, Geraldine said she was “footloose and fancy free” when she started dating her first husband, Gerald (Gary) Young. Throughout college, the pair did a few long-distance stints but quickly realized that they needed to support one another. 

“It’s a combination of cooperation but also putting the other guy first,” she said. “That’s pretty much how our whole life went.” 

Geraldine does remember receiving a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day while she lived in California from Gary.  

“And that man did not have enough money to buy his lunch, let alone send something. But there it goes again, put the other guy first,” Geraldine said.  

The pair got married in August of 1964 and spent nearly every day together until Gary died in 2012 after a lengthy illness. There was no “I,” she said, but rather a “we” mindset when it came to life. That was essential for their love to succeed, she said.  

By the time Gary was 47, he suffered a stroke. Within two years, he needed a heart transplant.  

It all ties back to putting your partner first, Geraldine remembered.  

“I never looked up and thought ‘gee I could do so much if I didn’t have to deal with this’,” Geraldine said. “The whole focus of it was to keep Gary going.” 

And Gary kept going. After his death Geraldine said she was in a daze. The pair had “lived in one another's pockets,” Geraldine reflected.  

That is the key, she said — working as a team.  

Geraldine remarried in her 70s to another man who, although different from her first marriage, she shared common interests and fun with. His name was Tom. It was also his second marriage, and the pair were together until Tom’s death three years ago. It was also a wonderful relationship, she said.  

The success to a happy marriage is thinking about each other, Geraldine reflected and making each other smile.  

“It was a good marriage. How can you be so happy and fortunate to have two good marriages,” Geraldine said over the phone, sitting on the porch of her vacation home in Mexico.  

No marriage is perfect, both Geraldine, the Freemans and the McLaughlins said, but finding your person, a person who is kind, patient and puts you first, is essential.  

“Candy on Valentine’s Day doesn’t hurt either,” Loreley McLaughlin said with a smile. 

Reporter Kate Heston may be reached at 758-4459 or kheston@dailyinterlake.com.